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this is literally just a long rant about school and my parents, it's a massive mess so sorry in advance if you're going to read it.
i'm 13. i'm currently on winter break, but i'm really anxious to go back to school. i started at a new school this year, and we get more homework at my new school than we did at my old school. i find it really hard to keep up with the amount of homework, and revise everything on the side, whilst maintaining my routine (routines are very important to me). i have to do a lot of revision for latin because i dropped it in the year before joining this school, and i basically don't do much else other then revise. i'm just trying to keep up with my class. to top it off, i get really anxious about speaking to new people, and i was getting used to speaking to one teacher, but they left the school.
in the last couple weeks of the winter term, i wasn't sleeping well because i was really anxious about going to school, and i was really tired and anxious all the time, and i thought it would end over the break but it hasn't. i try so hard to keep up with school whilst sleeping enough. i have not been eating much when i have school. i have been skipping breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner as well. out of school it's fine. also, next term we have to choose our gcses, and i don't know what to pick, because i struggle in all my subjects. i do well enough in them because of the amount i revise, but inside my brain it isn't working in the long term, and i do well on work, but when it gets to the end of year tests, i do really badly. (around 46%). on my reports it mainly says that i need to ask for help more, but it makes me really anxious, because i don't know my teachers. english is the worse though, our teacher changed over the half term, and my new teacher is quite scary. she tends to pick me to answer questions, but i don't put my hand up, because i don't know them. so on my report, there is serious concern about my speaking. i dont know what to do anymore... my school wants me to get assessed for autism spectrum disorder. i think my parents are upset about that though, even though i cant help being weird. the problem isn't really just school, it's my parents as well, because EVERYTHING has to be about them. don't want to see a specific therapist? too bad. it's not about you. don't want to stay out until 4am? stop being so selfish. you're 13 now. anxious because there are lots of loud noises, strong smells, people trying to talk to you, aggressive siblings etc? you're ruining everyone else's day. i'm sorry this was a mess to read.
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Replyim so sorry u have to go through this shit. im going to middle school next fall and im really anxious over that. ive never changed schools, but i still feel ya. i dont have a lot of homework yet, but im also pretty messed up. i do my homework at like 1 am and go to slep at like 3am or 4am. yeah. and im only 12. but dont worry, youll get through it.
ReplyI don't know why, but they made middle school so fucking hard. Just go through this for now and know that high school will be a bit easier (maybe WAY easier). honestly, middle school is hell. I'm not much of a social person in a new place, but even though the internet I know you got this!
- a friendly sophmore :3
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