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These should have been what I said to you when I am lost for words because you dumped me. I shouldn’t have cried and begged for you to stay because I had it coming. I can still see flashbacks of how it happened – the certainty in your eyes wanting to get rid of me and that you will not let that day pass without telling that you fell out of love. Few months before you cut it, you made me feel like I’m a worthless human being and I didn’t feel loved. I wasn’t shocked when you dumped me but it doesn’t mean it hurt less.
“I don’t want to do this anymore”, you said. Instead of just asking why and obviously getting no reply, I should have asked you what went wrong. Sometimes, we have to learn that it takes two sane individuals to make it work. Maybe you have come to that conclusion as a reaction to what I unintentionally did.
“You’re too good for me. You deserve better”. Instead of saying “that’s bullshit”, I should have said “why can’t you be better”. Falling in love is something special, but staying in love is hard work which takes two people to choose each other every time the going gets rough. I have told you that many times but I don’t think you took it to your heart.
When you ghosted me for months, I took it as a challenge which I willingly accepted. I thought I could win you back to being the boyfriend who cared by constantly calling, texting and stalking. I didn’t know that in your language, its neediness. But as time went by, I feel that I didn’t regret all of the stupid things I did. For one, I just showed you who I am, how I love – that I care too much – and I don’t have to change one bit to be appreciated. And two, at least I fought to keep what we shared. Now, I have no regrets because I tried fighting.
So, thank you. I have learned a lot doing research on heartbreaks and moving on (which was all I did btw). Over time, I realized I am worth more and that I should stop belittling myself because that’s how you made me feel. I am still hurting (which I wish will end soon) but I will never give up on love and I hope one day, in time with the right person, I hope I’m ready to receive the love I deserve.
To my fellow dumpees, this too shall pass.
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