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When I was a kid I spent a lot of time alone, I was bullied a lot, isolated and in pain.
But I made a friend, a new person had joined my school and he became my friend, when I’ve tried to find him recently on social media or just a google search in general there’s nothing.
I remember being told by my teacher that I should be friends with him and that I wasn’t allowed to.
At the time I just thought they were all trying to isolate me.
I’ve asked many people from that school if they remember him and they’ve all said they don’t.
But now when I think back to it, I don’t really remember anything about him, why he joined our school with 2 months left before we left, why I wasn’t allowed to be friend with him and why no one bit me remembers him.
Lately over the past few years I’ve been back and forth to and from the doctors about my mental health and I’ve been told I might have schizophrenia or DID (Dissociative identity disorder) and recently have had tormenting voices and episodes where I’ve skipped entire days.
My memory from my childhood is really foggy and I’ve had trouble remembering people I grew up with, but I can remember someone I only knew for 2 months 11 years ago.
I’ve been thinking recently that maybe being a kid, having these mental health issues and being isolated, bullied hated and picked on that I might have just made up a friend so I could feel less alone.
Recently I’ve been scared because when I do hear voices there always tormenting and always violent, I’ve been okay with keeping them at bay but recently dive been having troubles keeping anything at bay, my emotions have been all over the place and my thoughts have been in places I’d never want them.
Does anyone have any idea of what this might be or have any similar experiences?
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ReplyI can relate so much. I can only remember my childhood in bits, and when I do my mother says it never happened, but I think that it did, and I have so many people in my brain. But, I can say, that if you listen to the ones that seem nice, you will get used to having them around. It does not get better, but we can manage to stable our disorder without drugs. I know that. I sew for a living. they help me do it, yeah sometimes one would make me prick my fingers with the sewing needle but, I still continue.
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