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I don't know if it's possible to view other things I wrote here, but some months ago I wrote about a girl that I really like, we're so close, can share everything and enjoy doing things together, it's like the perfect relationship I could ever think of
When I wrote about it here, you told me to go for it , I talked with my best friend and she say that I should confess my feelings, so I did
That didn't really went okay, she just wasn't able to see me as anymore than a friend or a brother, I still liked so I kinda kept hope and my best friend always was cheering for me
During this months, I have been struggling with some overthinking, every now and then
After a lot of thinking I end up noticing that I really love her, but not just because I wanna be with her, but because she makes me so happy, like a lot, so I don't really need that relationship, I just want to express to her that happiness and tranquility that she makes me feel... I really just want to always be with her being happy
We never have problems for discussions cause we always know how to deal with it and even more, the ideal of relationship usually is similar
Today I wanted to express that, of how I feel by now, but as the conversation goes on, suddenly she ask "What happens if I'm going out with someone?", even though I kinda know where she was going for, I was kinda denying the fact, just answering as this was just another try of how to I would stop liking her, but I answered that I would just had to accept that and keep my feelings out, I wouldn't stop talking with her since she is such a great friend
Well... It turned out she is indeed going out with someone... That was devastating, I still cry every time I think about it... I had to just accept it... Cause I love her and I want her to be happy, so I just wished that he treated him good
It's still weird all of this, we two are exactly social, she literally just have us as friends, but suddenly he knows him and keep it secret cause didn't want to hurt me... But someday it had to came out
I have been struggling with inestable anorexia, depressive symptoms and a lot of anxiety for year, by this moment I feel like shit, I just wanna cry and stop existing
I know that this won't be forever, I have to be strong so I can support her, but right now... I can't handle this and can't stop crying
Tomorrow I'm gonna meet with my best friend because I really feel like trash
I don't know what to do honestly
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You must accept that this girl wants the two of you to be friends only. Then decide whether you want to stay with her as a friend. If you don't, move on. Don't do these things straight away as they will take a lot of thinking and time. You will have to let go of any feelings you have for her and let her go to do her thing. Eventually you will come to accept things and hopefully you will find someone who will feel the same way you do. You learn and grow from experiences. Maybe your expectations were too high with this one.
ReplyOh baby, I'm so sorry! This can be such a hard thing to go through! I think you're going to have to let go of her as your potential soul mate.
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