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im working 9-5 job, as visual artist. It's exhausting, but not a big deal. Im studying forex market, it's been around 7 or 8 months educating myself, i already have a profitable trading system, but not so effective yet due to this cute capital. Im renting a place for my gf to live with 50% of my salary because her house is full of abusive, very abusive and very toxic environment especially her own mother who had almost let some old pervert motherfuckers to take her out the city for days, for money sake, basically selling her own daughter. im taking care of her and maintaining her daily cash which is enough. Her sister still in the house, she's still a young girl and we're planning to get her out asap. My mother is running this little fast food business, she doesn't have so much profit this month and keep asking where the fuck is my money. Thank god my mom is kind of blind about investing as stuff so i can make things up. My office (especially in my floor) has this one old female who talks a lot, talk with her phone as her morning routine, shouting and shouting with her annoying high pitch, which is actually not that bad but the problem is; she's talking shit about me to everyone in the office, so everything is kind of draining my mind. wake up every morning at 8am, go to work a bit late and arrived there at 11 and go home at 7.30pm < this schedule is made if im late. After arrived at home i go right to my desk and continue my work, backtesting my fundamental-technical strategy in the market, strengthen my risk management system. and go to sleep at 3am, and repeat. Im probably semi broke, i should really think twice if i want to afford something nice to myself. The only thing i care right now is how i should dress nice in the office.
Im 19 years old, born in september 2000. Im tired, if only i can hope to die like what the other edgy kids do on youtube lofi comment section. But i can't leave everything behind. I don't even know why should i write things like this online, i've never done this before, it feels weird but its ok. Somehow makes me feel better.
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It is good to get things off your chest. More people should write things out. You are very fortunate that the only thing you care about is how to dress. But I hope you care about your girl friend. Don't think about dying yet because you are so young and have so much more to do in your life. Things change. You have ups and downs in your life otherwise it would be too boring. Look forward to the future with hope. Things will ultimately work out. Also tell the woman where you work you know what she's been saying about you so she had better stop with her mouth.
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