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I am having a ton of anxiety lately. They say writing it out helps.
I love my boyfriend. He loves me. He wouldn't hurt me. But my past boyfriends always hurt me. I have always been cheated on. So my immediate response is that I will always be cheated on. So I am constantly worried about it. I shouldn't be. I know that the way I feel is nonsense. There is no reason to believe he is cheating on me.
We live together and spend every night together. I have nothing to worry about. But I cannot seem to get my mind of it. Especially on days where we talk less. One of us is usually working and busy. I want to just relieve this anxiety. I can't seem to cope. I have been drinking alot to ease my nerves and I know that is not the answer.
They say exercise helps. I make a lot of excuses to not exercise. I know I need to. I should start.
If anybody has any ideas about how to relieve anxiety in the moment, that would be helpful. I am struggling. I do not want to let my irrational thoughts overwhelm me. I am scared of reverting back to who I used to be.
I guess that ends my rant.
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I completely understand where you're coming from because I am in the same situation with my boyfriend.
I struggle with easing my anxiety as well, especially in the moments when my doubts are raging and consuming me. I know it sounds like the most logical thing to do so I'm sorry to sound basic but communication in a relationship is always a fundamental aspect. Have you tried talking to your boyfriend about your doubts and fears in depth? Does he understand where your mind is at when you are feeling the fear and anxiety that comes from being cheated on in the past?
Say you already have talked with him about these things. Something I have found to be helpful is asking a small favor of words of affirmation and reassurance from your boyfriend, just to help put yourself at ease. It can be something as simple as an 'I love you' or a little paragraph reminding you that you are his one and only.
Being cheating on is no small deal and it can break you to pieces. I totally understand because I've been in that sad and dark place multiple times. As you grow with another human being though, and your relationship becomes more intertwined and connected,, the trust has to come through and been seen. Yes, it is sometimes (for the most part, actually) blind trust but that's the risk we as humans have to take. Love and relationships are hard but you said it yourself, you and your boyfriend love each other.
I believe in you, you've got this. Take a deep breathe and remind yourself that you are worthy and amazing and that your anxiety does not have a hold on you.
Best of luck <3
ReplyThank you so much for this response. I really appreciate it. I have spoken to him briefly before. I constantly ask questions to affirm his love for me. He always answers sweetly. He tries to show me he loves me but he isn't super emotional and he thinks he shows more love than he does. Which I am trying to learn to understand his ways. He doesn't see the problems I see and I have trouble communicating in the moment. but bringing it up later seems hard. Thank you for your advice and I will continue to work on this.
ReplyOf course!! I completely understand that as well, we all have different ways of expressing ourselves and communicating. I really hope for the best for you and him!
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