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What is it exactly that you have time for? Why is there just no time? We don't have time for everything, but maybe we have time to select one thing out of a list of everything. We can do anything, we cannot do everything all of the time.
These are the thoughts I used to have about my choices. It was always more grammatical than about making a decision about something. I never thought I'd ever actually have to choose. But looking back, I think there are lots of decisions I should have made, but failed to consider.
Why is it we listen to people who are about to die about how to live? How much time do we need to learn to do the right thing? Are there people who are happy with life? If we're unhappy, does that always mean we should kill ourselves?
I do think I should kill myself. I need to practice a little maybe. I want to black out from a choke hold, but I don't want to suffocate. I don't want to be aware of my death. I just want to fall asleep. I'm pretty sure I can take a rope and wrap it tight enough to knock me out.
So who has tips about self garroting (is that what it's called)? How thick should my rope be? I think 3/4 inch synthetic. Something soft like nylon, but maybe I can put a neckerchief around my neck and the rope around that so it doesn't cut my skin. I just want to black out and die. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to make another decision.
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