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It's a strong word, and I never knew I would use it out of personal experience.
You used your Depression as an excuse to hurt my feelings. I let it happen and even believed and made excuses that you just say those things because you're feeling down again. That was my fault, I didn't knew my boundaries, I put someone first before me because I felt the need to do whatever I need to do so I'm not alone. I didn't knew my worth and just thought the worst of myself because I let you do all these emotional games with me.
I fell In love with a guy and believed every word he said to me. Every "I'm really glad you've entered in my life" but in reality he just wanted me to feed his ego because he knew I was naive and stupid enough to give him everything I could give so he felt better for a moment... but now I've learned, I learned that no one can heal another person if they don't want any help, they'll just use you until you have no energy for yourself. And when that person got what that person wanted, they'll leave you...
It happened so fast to me that I was so shocked, "it is my fault", "I wasn't interesting enough", "but why did he say such nice and sweet things to me not even one week ago?". Sure, those were my initial thoughts...but now I know it wasn't my fault, why would it? I did everything I could've done, but for him it wasn't enough and I don't need to change for him only to keep him. If I'm not what he wants anymore then go away, I don't need you in my life...
That person gave me memories, experiences and I learned a lot about myself. Another person will come into my life and will know my worth!
(I really wanted to write this down, this has been my thought process and I think it made me mature a lot and made me see that I should respect myself and my boundaries first.)
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