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I've processed my mother as if she had passed away.
She is well and alive. She took a vacation back to her home country for a few months.
When she left my sister and dad felt lonely and missed her but I didn't.
I didn't miss her. I barely thought about her even though I relied on her the most. Right now my mom is going to come back in this month, as time passes it feels wrong. It feels as if she is gonna be a different person and not the same as she left.
The first time I realized she won't be the same I started to cry and had a hard time breathing. To supress myself from fully crying I distracted myself.
Time is passing and she is coming but I don't know how to act. I feel numb but the same time I could cry. I'm currently sick so when someone sees me tearing up I blame it on the pain but what do I do. I'm so confused, why did I do this to myself.
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Why would you let yourself think that way? Why do you think your mother would change? She would stay the same! In fact, don't you think she would be missing you guys - her family? The question is, why think that way?
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