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How do you feel? . . . .
How are you? . . . . .
Do you enjoy the silence?. . . .
That’s fine, I’m fine, I’ll live.
Or will I? With all these knives.
One girl, two girls, five girls,
One after the other, come and go as if I were in football drills.
Will there ever be one?
One that understands me?
Will accept me? Get what it’s like to be me?
Or will they just run, pretend, look away.
Say they care when in reality, they’re looking for the exit.
The past holds on, tightly, clinging for life.
All while the future, tries it’s hardest to let it go.
There’s one, someone. That actually grabbed on.
Didn’t run, didn’t look for the exit.
They spoke.
How do you feel? Perfectly fine.
How are you? Screaming inside.
The same as me. Let’s exchange thoughts And scream together. This is going great.
Oh wait.
The messages become shorter. The wait time grows longer. Will they respond back? Or did they get scared?
Do they think their not good enough? Or am I just not? What will one do. When he’s constantly pulled through a door, just to be kicked right back out.
Will I ever stay? Or do I deserve this?
When someone comes in, they try and understand, try and relate, try and say “everything will be okay”, “You’re great”, “you’re amazing”, “you’re the best guy anyone could ever ask for“, “your past made you so much stronger”, “I... love you..” Then why are your eyes... empty? Why don’t I feel it when you say it? Because it’s lies. Just be nice. Smile and wave. You’ll be away from him soon. Let him hear what he wants to hear. Pitty him. He needs it. He’s weak.
No. You’re weak. But I’ll never say that.
I’ll smile and accept it. Knowing they’re lies. I’ll smile and talk knowing what i say is already leaving through the other ear. Unlasting love, the course of love. This is how it goes. You find it once, maybe twice. To never find it again. Or do you? The story continues, He builds a wall Around his heart. Then she comes along, And the wall falls apart. He steps out of the wall Just to realize It's still full of pain And as cold as ice. So he says to himself, "This love thing, it isn't for me. That's something I finally see." But before he builds the wall again, He wants her to know It was his love for her That he failed to show. If only she could see What's in his heart, How he feels for her, The way he's torn apart. "Please understand," he says. "It's not you that I blame. I know your feelings For me aren't the same. Maybe it's just fate That I fell for you. I just couldn't help it, Although I knew." She'll never love him back, That he has to accept, But loving her, knowing her, Caring for her has been a joy That he'll never regret. He knows he has to move on, And with time he shall, But it's gonna be hard, And it's gonna take a while. Although he doesn't want to, Believe him, he's trying To let go of his feelings, But a silent hope keeps striving. For what he doesn't have He does not complain. In fact he's grateful, Having someone to share his pain. He just wants to wish her well. May all her dreams come true. That's all he has to tell. So he's taking his leave now, With just one hope within... That someday she will realize Just how much he loved her. If only she had seen...But he will be long gone by then, Inside his broken wall, Never to come out again, Never to hear the call, With few memories to join him is his pain,And a vow never to love again... The story comes to a close. The never ending cycle, repeats itself over and over. Will it end? Will the heart break stop? Will they stop coming, and tearing down the wall, just to make him work and put it back up. Stronger, higher, conceal everything. He wishes to. He tries. But someone.. always comes and breaks it down.. no matter how strong the wall may be. Strong beings, no.... strong.. love can be. He then asks one thing.. one final request... don’t leave... don’t run. Stay.
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