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So I have a younger sibling and they are in their senior year of college right now, but they are struggling to get by. They were irresponsible in signing up for a required class and now will have to take it next semester or over the summer. My sibling has a repeated history of waiting to the last minuted to finish an assignment and then crying to our mother about the stress and work that they feel they can not complete.
This time around they needed to make a short animation for something but from my understanding don’t know how to nor do they have enough time to. Mom tells me to make it for them and I tell her I don’t know how to animate (I am a freelance illustrator, but my experience with digital animation is very little) nor am I willing to do another individuals assignment for them. My sibling “reached”out to me said “I need an animated scene” gave me the details and said thanks. Like it’s a given that I would do it....and when I told them no but gave them advice on what they could do when pressed for time, or if they could send me sketches I could clean it up a bit, or even offered to purchase a simple software to diy they ignored me.
A couple days later our mom confronted me I told her all the extent I was willing to help and she called me selfish...I think back to how much I struggled in college, failed in some cases learned from the experience and came back better. Then I think about the times I did reach out for help from my sibling but for smaller things like extra eyes to read over a paper or application...this makes me wonder am I the bad guy in this situation?
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I'm not sure why you're looking for reassurance here, but I'm not aware of all the circumstances. As far as I can see, you are in no way shape or form in the wrong here. How could you be? In fact, you'd be doing your sibling a disservice if you were to help them. You'd effectively be leading them farther away from the person they need to be. That can only be achieved through failure.
Did you tell your mother that this was, in fact, the sibling's assignment? I'm not sure why'd she would call you selfish if you made it clear to her that you couldn't just simply do the assignment for him/her.
As far as what you've written, you're absolutely fine man.
ReplyNo you're not. I think you and I both know that they are guilt tripping you and you should just let your sibling deal with it on their own. Just like you said, it's best for them to learn this way, because then they can actually experience what is wrong and what is not, versus if you told them what to do all the time then they wouldn't learn anything. And it is not in the SLIGHTEST bit selfish, like AT ALL. If you keep helping THEM out, then you're no longer living your OWN life. And yes they may try to "call you out" or make YOU the bad guy, but you're not. You. Are. Absolutely. Not. Good luck ^·^ hope this helps! <3
ReplyNo you are not the bad guy. Stand up for yourself and tell these family members you will not be used! They are selfish and have to learn to do things themselves.
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