What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
I’ve been feeling extremely insecure lately. Not necessarily about my appearance, but about myself, my personality. It has gone too far. I barely even have a social life anymore. I’m scared to talk to people. I still have my 2 friends but I feel like those friendships are slowly deteriorating.
I hate myself.
It hurts to write it down, let alone say it out loud. I’m ashamed of myself. I know I will be disappointed in myself in the future for letting this self hate get so far.
I used to not care about what others would think. I was social, I had the courage to be myself and express my opinions. Right now, I’m scared to go to school, scared of what everyone will think about me. I’m scared to start a conversation with anyone. I mean I wasn’t very popular before, I was actually quite shy. I’m not shy anymore, I’m nobody, an outsider. Everyone has forgot my name.
I’m constantly wishing I was someone else.
This has gotten to the point where every time I enter a room, and people in the room are laughing, I immediately think that they are laughing at me. If someone gives me a slightly weird look, I immediately assume they hate me. I get extremely insecure around “mean girls”, I’m terrified of being judged. I fall for guys, who make me feel like shit. When I’m around these guys I have to pretend I’m someone I’m not.
This has to come to an end. I can’t keep living like this. I’m tired of being scared every single second when I’m socializing. But I’m so far into this that I don’t know if I’ll be able to get out of it.
I’m trying to stay hopeful. I want things to change. I hope that I’ll be able to be myself one day. I hope I’ll realize my worth. I hope I can live without worrying what others think. I hope that there is someone out there, who will love me for who I am.
Advice?
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
hi
She's barely grown and can already tell you everything about self-destruction She can tell you with such ease how to dress fresh cuts with dark makeshift...
-
the importance of words
Slut. Worthless. Ugly. Nothing. Stupid. I have been called all of these names. I have been called these names so many times that it lingers around my name. But...
I understand the pain and agony you felt because I was like you too. Every day was painful, small issues became big, it was just awful. But I knew I must do something to stop this pain, to all of this misery in my head, so I decided to take one step at a time. Some things that I did may look small to others but it felt big to me and I slowly have the courage again to do the things I love. All in all, little steps matter, I'm still struggling but it's great to feel the world again.
Kind regards,
CloudThoughts
ReplyI was like this years ago in school. But when I left school I got in with a crowd and we were all friendly. I had one friend and that was enough. Everything was okay after that. Things will change for you and everything will be better. You said you used to be secure and social so what was it that caused you to go like this? Something must have happened. Can you remember what it was?
ReplyHi, I can’t really remember anything specific happening to me that might have started this all. But I guess the main factor was that I fell in to depression about a year ago and isolated myself from everyone. And I guess it just escalated from there.
Another thing could be that I’ve always joked about myself in a negative way. So for example, if I got a bad grade I’d just say: “Oops, I guess I’m just dumb haha” or when I got rejected by someone I’d say: “I’ll be lonely forever”. And I did use these phrases jokingly, I didn’t believe in them, I was just using humor as a way to cope. But when things got dark, and I got depressed, I started to actually believe in these statements. I started beating myself up with these words.
Yeah, that’s pretty much it. It’s nice fo know that I’m not the only who has experienced these feelings.
Thank you and I hope you have a great week :)
ReplyWhy do I understand you completely. For me, I just plaster a smile on my face and insult myself as a joke and laugh along when people laugh at me. Nowadays I don't have the energy or the will to bottle up my insecurities or to put up face so I just stay silent. I come to this website to prove to myself that I'm not alone in my feelings and I just try to remind myself that this is nothing more than a phase. Things have to get better. They will. I can't tell you it'll be easy or fast but you just have to take it one step at a time. If you like quotes go to Pinterest and make yourself a board of inspiration and every week live by one of the quotes. Force your mind to be positive and if it refuses then shut it off. Focus on the favorite parts of yourself and realize that you are perfect. I mean your obviously going through something huge in your life yet you still give that small bit of energy and time to thank people for their advice and even wish them a good week. To me, that's genuinely amazing
ReplyAww, I’m honestly so grateful for your comment. I’ve started to think of myself as selfish or rude (thats another thing I have to work on) and it’s been a long time since someone who has boosted my self confidence. Your comment gave me more hope for my future.
You’re a good person :)
Wow, a single comment can honestly change someone’s mood.
Thank you.
Replyseeeee, you're so nice and just genuine and you give good vibes. it's ok to doubt yourself sometimes, its a very human thing. You just have grasp on to the good and whether you believe it or not, that good is in you.
Reply