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Wondering
8 years ago · 1
734
It"s frustrating. You"re frustrating. In the beginning, I was frustrated that I couldn"t have you. But now it"s different. I"m over the fact that I can"t have you- I know it"s not going to happen. I thought that once I would accept that, everything would become easier. Now, I"m frustrated that I still think about you- that you have no idea and that somehow you still end up in my dreams. Before, when I"d look at you, I would get this feeling in my stomach that could not be replicated by anything else, and for some reason time would move in fast motion. When I look at you now, I just wonder. Now, time moves in slow motion, and in my mind I just wonder what you see in me. I wonder if you have ever seen in me what I see in you. I must admit, I used to put you on a pedestal. Then one day, I decided to take you off of it because someone once told me if you take someone off a pedestal, you"re just left with the person; a real person who hurts, who has flaws- who makes mistakes. I was excited- maybe I"d stop dreaming about you, and maybe I"d stop wishing you felt the same, and maybe, just maybe, I could move on. However, now I find myself wanting to know what breaks your heart- what your flaws are and how they compare to mine. Six months. Six months I"ve been wondering about you. I don"t know what to do or what this is. I guess the only thing to do is to be content-be content in the wondering.
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