I must walk away.

I was there, present in mind and body. But still the moment you fell in front me, everything wasn't kept intact. I pulled you away from the hatch to see your chest was bleeding fast. I tried to keep the pressure on while trying to keep both the fear and panic far away from the both of us. I told you everything will be fine, you will get home to our unit momma, and how we will go to the bar and drink to this moment that you got shot. I can still hear your pleading whimpers to tell your father that you weren't afraid, to ask him to forgive you about the car, make sure your wife and soon to be child knew that you were brave and you love them. I kept shaking you, pleading to keep your eyes open in between calling for the doc. I was able to get the medic in the HMV but he after awhile he shook his head and moved on, I kept yelling at him come back and help you. I can remember your light slowly fading from your eyes. Your lifeless eyes, I can still seem them when I close my eyes. I am sorry i couldn't save you that day brother, and I don't think I can ever come to terms with your passing. I can't help but keep playing that moment in my mind with all the what if's. I can't forgive myself in this failure of my duty of protecting my brothers in arms and because of this I feel responsible for your death. I love you brother and I wish that bullet hit me instead of you, you had an entire life with your wife and child ahead of you. Now you are just a picture to your boy all because I wasn't fast enough or saw the threat in time to prevent this entire thing from happening. I failed and now I must live with this regret.