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So, I posted on here a day ago and got some very rude comments at first, thank god it was just a mere troll and nothing to worry about.
But, upon asking my few friends, almost all of them said I definitely had to be at the least high functioning, at the most just plain ol’ autistic.
But, I don’t want to be.
I am not saying autism or aspergners offends me or anything of that nature, I am just saying that I think people’s view of me will not only change but will be for the worse. My brother and father are both on the spectrum, but have experienced it very differently than I have (or so says the research and websites I have read through since the freak out yesterday). They are both smart and analytical, whereas I can barely keep B’s and don’t understand the most simple instruction. I don’t know how to ask question, if and when I should, and things along those lines. Also, “special interest” as they’re called, relate to me so much to a degree where I can’t get work done unless it relates to a subject. I feel as though autism has just ruined my life, but in a weird way. I have been told time upon time by other is I just didn’t act the way I did I would be a lot more popular and lot more in, as if popularity means something. And... to a degree it does for my ego and selfishness. I’m not sure how to feel right now about it all. I just need help on ways to stop this or to mask it better. If you have any resources please direct me to them, thank you.
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I apologize for society as a whole for making you thing having autism makes you less than. When really, you were made to be exactly who you are. You have the ability to feel a depth most people will never understand. And you have the ability to zone in on things that interest you for unlimited amounts of time. Grades in school only mean so much, I bet you are so smart. And have lots of knowledge to offer this world. Please never see your autism as a disgrace is your life. I challenge you to embrace your differences, and allow them to help you excel in ways some people could never even dream. No one on the spectrum is the exact same, and nothing good comes from comparing yourself anyway. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing you need to mask. You may find that being yourself is a lot easier, and there are people who will love you exactly as you are. You should try being one of them!
ReplyThank you so much. Encouragement was exactly what I needed, and I feel honored you took the time to type that out for me. Thank you.
ReplyI'm on the spectrum and considered high functioning. All it means is that I'm capable of living independently. I still have social difficulties and haven't been successful in finding or holding a job. I have depression, anxiety and PTSD, since my autism didn't make me different or weird enough. But I still have friends and I get by. I wish you well. There's no cure and masking benefits the neurotypicals more and hurts us more. Just focus on you and what your goals are. Eventually you'll get to the age I'm at and stop caring what people think. It's part of who you are. The right people won't mind.
ReplyThat makes me feel good. My friends have been way too loyal to me and have had to suffer through some things I realize now is because of my autism. I guess people really don’t mind. Thank you
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