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my heart is not my own
i discover this time and time again, as i give it away to a new person every four months
i can't not have a crush, it's simply not an option
believe me, i always try to hold onto the feeling of individuality i get
after i become heartbroken by a person i never dated in the first place
but i get bored and soon become obsessed with a person i never talk to once more
i don't know why this happens, it's not enjoyable in the least
at this point i'm used to the schedule:
fuzzy feelings, overwhelming feelings, sadness, longing, heartbreak
i can feel as one step of the cycle moves to the next
and perhaps that's the saddest part of the whole ordeal
knowing the pain that will come next due to your own actions
but not being able to stop what will happen
like not being able to brake a bike going down a steep hill
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