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My dads nothing but an s.o.b. to me. He starts shit with me for no reason to piss me off because hes miserable and wants to take it out on me. Makes me wish I was never born. I hate him. Wish I was born to a better father. He needs a huge lesson in humility. If I hit the lottery today is be gone and never see or talk to him again. I'm tired of being his verbal and emotional punching bag. I don't know why. I was so good to him me not knowing he was a using manipulative sociopathic narcissistic conartist and when He drained me of everything suddenly im only something taking up space to him. When the benefits stopped to him so did the relationship. All hes ever done is lie cheat steal his way through life and I've had to pay for it in so many ways. He robbed a pharmacy and never got caught. He stole off me and all the money I let him borrow he swore her pay me back. Haven't saw any of it. Hed rather party and screw me and do his drugs and drink and spend all his money on those things. Then later on the physical abuse came. Hed run out of drugs be in withdrawal and run at me like a maniac jump on top of me beat My face in and choke me. My counselor says in basic words without saying it that I shouldn't be alive right now after all ive been through. Not just with him but with other things. In other words most people wouldve committed suicide already. The thoughts for it are still there dont think theyre not. If I had a way to leave I would but I'm just fucking stuck right now. He said I should move out. Yeah? His names not on the contract here. I bailed him out of living in a car the horrible excuse of a human being. Him and mom are lying about being separated so he's not legally supposed to be here using another guys address for his residence. So I could have him put in jail for that stop his social security check too but unfortunately my mom would get in trouble too because of that asshat. Just fml. Ya know. Everybody fucking hates me. Maybe i should end it. Maybe i did deserve all that bad treatment because treating other good totally deserves that right? On top of covid19 stuff im only 1 human being. I can only stand so much bullshit for one lifetime.
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With out a doubt it sounds like you got dealt bad hand in life.. but as in a game of poker.. every hand is a winning hand if you play it right. And for sure.. if it doesn’t kill us.. it makes us stronger... hopefully someday you bring love and peace to a child if you ever become a father.. based on the lessons you learned from your dad.. on how not to be with your children.
If you’ve never had a spiritual connection with God, it is a worth the effort to explore a spiritual journey.. short or long as it may be. One truth you’ll quickly realize : all the wicked and evil you see around you is done by people don’t follow the 2 basic messages that Jesus Christ gave the world:
1. Love God first and foremost (seek his truth.. study it a little on a daily basis and your connection will grow.)
2. Love your fellowman 2nd.. meaning don’t do anything wicked or evil to people.
Look to God as your refuge.. spiritually.
https://www.gotquestions.org/live-life-for-God.html
ReplyI do and have a relationship with Him. That's the only thing keeping me sane right now. Thanks for your reply.
ReplyObviously your dad doesn't appreciate anything. When your lease is up move out and leave him behind. You don't have to look after him.
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