My Timed Entry

I have always thought about what my life would be like if I put in a little more effort. Where did it start? When I came up with a chocolate carrot idea for cereal in order to trick parents into buying it for their kids in the third grade. Was it when I got told a girl with short hair and a tall statue should not wear a dress because it looks gross. Or in Highschool when I would skip band, not do my homework and not try my best in JROTC. Is it all that in which has now affected my college grades and although I am about to finish my second year, I have only gotten enough credits for a freshman year. It is that I continue to lie to my parents about that since I’m the one who’s paying for classes I don’t believe they’ll ever understand my reasoning. When there isn’t even one. Some days I simply feel like it’s not worth it. What is the point in living. Shouldn’t I be somewhere else by now. Shouldn’t I be someone important? Does it matter.. Whose praises am I so desperately searching for which can ease my question of existence