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Dear you,
September 2, 2018
Sometimes i wonder how you are... what you’re doing or even thinking...
I remember at one time i could look at you and know all those things. Now i feel like you being in a foreign country is not the only thing foreign about us. We ended long ago..., I know there were many things unsaid, and many things I wish could’ve or would’ve changed when I still made a difference in your life but we cannot live in the past can we?
Sometimes i miss you... i miss your smile, laugh and even cry... hell i even miss your anger. I miss your room, smell, and hug... i miss the way it felt whenever i was having a bad day and you would instantly make it better. I miss when it was cold outside and i would stand on your feet and you’d wrap me in your coat while we would wait for the bus in the morning. I miss our rainy day naps, and the way you would wake me up... most of all, i miss you.
I think the problem most of us are facing now, is the fact that we can’t rewind time. There is no pause button... that’s the crazy part. I think there are things we wish we would have done different but didn’t... i think there are things we have left behind. We aren’t those kids anymore. I will never forget us. I want you to know that. I will never regret us, and i will never not be in your life. You will forever be the boy with the blue eyes, and gray jacket. I wish i could be watching you walk across that stage... diploma in hand... silly cap on your head and the tassel that will forever change our future... but those thoughts will forever be dreams... just dreams.
We were good at saying that if you love something then you let it go and if it comes back to you it’s yours but if it doesn’t then it was never yours to keep.. Therefore, i let you go and that kills me. I guess the way i look at it is that you are a bird, and i want you to have every freedom because that is what you deserve... to be free... to experience all the great things the world has to offer. I mostly want you to be happy. I want you to smile that big smile, laugh that silly laugh, and enjoy yourself... because 100 years isn’t a long time when you think of all the things that can make life amazing. You deserve all the happiness there is. And know that above all... i love you so much more than anything else and i always will. You have imprinted my heart... stained it in fact... a blessing and a curse all at once.
I don’t think there will be another us, I think what we have was one of a kind and that maybe we’ve officially put it to rest. I feel like if I could change anything I would’ve changed how it ended for us.. so to cut it short.. I’m sorry.. and I hope you’re doing alright
Love, the girl left behind
article broken up left behind missing you sad
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