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Hi there. You don’t know this, and probably will never find out. I have social anxiety. It’s kinda funny, but it sucks, really. I rarely make plans or partake in them, cause I know I’ll run out of energy and then I will be done for the day. I’m like a battery. I run out of juice if I laugh or talk too much. I get dizzy and I have to stop. It’ll just hit me, and I no longer want to be anywhere but in the dark. I couldn’t walk into a fast food restaurant by myself if I tried. Asking people for help is so difficult. Feeling like your dignity has already been determined by everyone around you is constant. Then being stuck with the idea that you can’t change afterwards just finishes you. But I can’t be with just one person, and more than three is pushing it. And they also have to be certain people. Not people that only vibe with each other, but people who will include me in a way that isn’t too much or too little. But you always get mad because you don’t understand that being surrounded by other people, or talking to just one person is hard. I don’t want all the attention on me, but I don’t want to Be stuck by myself after you leave me at your party. You don’t understand, and j know it’s weird, and may sound pathetic, but it scares me, and yelling at me will only tear me down more. Ridicule is disgusting because I’m only trying to cope. Just understand that if I actually do something , it took a lot for me to do that and I can enjoy days out with you and company.
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