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Dear husband,
I'm tired of you. I'm tired of everything you do. Tired of saying no. But i will keep saying yes, because I'm too afraid of saying no. And even though you're in the opposite room right now, I will never say this to you. And you'll never end up knowing how you've made me feel deep inside.
I can't think for my own. You've taken away every last bit of self confidence that remained in me. I can't defend myself. Whenever we argue, you'd always have the better words to express your point with. And I will always be full of anger and sadness but won't say a word.
We will continue to argue. And any one day, if the magic actually happens and we divorce, you will leave still thinking that you were right all the time, and that I deserved this. Hell, you might even take away my kids this same way. My kids. That's another factor why I'm too afraid of expressing my desire to leave.
I hate my life. I'm stuck here with you. You said you love me. And sometimes I can feel that. But you love me the wrong, killing way.
I don't think I love you anymore. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of my life.
I don't wanna live anymore.
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Oh dear!
Life is not easy for everyone. We all don't have same lives. But I just have to say, instead of standing on fear you could boldly decide what you have to do!
Suicide is never an option in life!
Live long
ReplyI'm too scared of the repercussions that I'd rather just "wait it out" and see if it ends on its own.
ReplyI have no support, so standing up for myself might have uglier consequences.
ReplyDon't be afraid. That's what abusers want. Get everything on video talk to anyone who will listen. Go to the media.
ReplyI can't... he refuses to let me use any of that. He turned out to be far more closed minded than you might imagine. I'm only here because it's confidential and he can't find out about it.
Wow the more I talk about this the more I realize I need serious help
Reply