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he had a heart attack, but got discharged from the hospital and is now at his home with a stay at home nurse (not hospice lol). My dad and his dad (my grandpa in this), have always been alone guys, they don't need people to enjoy life and stuff like that. My dad told my family that when he went to visit my grandpa the other day (he goes daily) that my grandpa said he wanted to die. Not in like an I'm depressed I want to kill myself way, but in a, I'm old, sick, have nothing to look forward to, and I'm ready to die. For some reason, I feel like I should be sadder. I was never particularly close with my grandpa, I am relatively young compared to all of my cousins (at least 10-year difference), but how come my heart aches at so many things, but not this? I feel guilty. My dad, although he never really needed people to fulfill himself, to begin with, will be broken. He still has 3 siblings that we are all very close with as a family, but my dad wasn't really one to care about meeting up with family, except my grandpa. My dad already overstresses himself with work, has physical health problems, and mental health problems like anxiety and probably depression because that comes along with some symptoms I've seen from him lately. Anyway, what's gonna happen if he passes away and I don't cry at his funeral? My whole family will be... I was too young to remember my grandma's funeral (my dad's mom). I don't feel pain from this loss, but I am an empathetic person, I used to even cry when I saw a classmate crying back in elementary school. I feel my heartache at so many scenes in TV shows even, so why do I feel nothing now? Will my dad see through it and realize that I'm not sad? How will he feel then?
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It's okay to not cry at someone's funeral when it was someone you weren't close to. It shouldn't upset your dad to see you not crying. You should comfort your dad, because this will be very hard for him, but you shouldn't feel guilty for not feeling as much pain as him.
ReplyYoung people expect old people to die so this is no great shock to you. You know your grandpa is aged and that he can't live forever so when he does die he will be doing what you expected him to. After all, you know your grandmother passed away. I knew a girl who was young when her grandma died at the age of 105. Everyone else in her family was shocked and upset except for this girl who expected it. Don't worry that you won't cry at the funeral. After all, you weren't close to him, and the old die to make room for the young.
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