It’s temporary

It's temporary. as if those words meant more than what the eyes can see, as if they didnt come from my own lungs, they meant more. These are the words that seemed to echo in my head, trapped in rising heat as my eyes pool with warm tears. It's fine. Like when every young girl and every young boy seems to hit a wall in their life that they can't go over, we say with heavy hearts, It's temporary. I can't help but breathe in the air from the light of day as the sun casts down upon me in a truly gorgeous scene, and I rejoice. Another day I have learned to live in. Another day that I've learned to put to rest and forget about. Maybe this should be my mantra as I step out into a world where no one appreciates anything around it. A world where maybe it means more to look beautiful than to actually be it, and where the moments in life are seen to be dreary and cold, rather than blessings. We feel deeply and suppress all of it. Our anger, our sadness, our anxiety- is blocked out and muted. Would we still be important if we let it show? Would we still be relevant? Did we ever think for a second, that we could be loved for having these feelings that we try so hard to keep hidden? Of course not. We try so hard to break through and all efforts seem to be ignored, as if they weren't even a thing in the first place. But don't worry…

We do end up swimming to the top, even if our feelings and past are weighing us down. We are able to come forth through the tide and stop our drowning in the sea of hatred. We are able to forget those feelings, the ones we blurred and blocked and erased. We are able to breathe again, since this is all over. We are able to feel loved and know that we aren't invisible and we are, infact, important. We think that this will last forever and, for some of us, it does. For some, however, we are still swimming upstream. If we ever fall again, ever find ourselves swimming against the water, swimming farther and farther out to sea, losing ourselves all over again, remembering the hurt and the anger and the anxiety and the sadness, never seeming to find our day out, never seeming to find our rock, our life boat, or even the top of the water, we have to remember: It's temporary….right?