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Middle child syndrome. Going through the pain again because I always feel left out and foreign, even if this isn't true.. Is it just coincidence that my family forgets me, misses me, leaves me out? My friends always did this too. I hate these moments, when I feel like I have no one or nowhere to turn to because nobody truly understands me. I'm 22, been single basically all my life, and I know I won't find love til I learn to love myself but the self love and self care is hard!
I find it hard to love and trust myself when literally everyone I know is mean and cruel as f*ck! They hurt me. I'm hurting. I need a savior, a prince or a princess. I can't see my strength, my beauty as it is right in front of me, blocked by all this dirt and grime :,c I THINK im beautiful/strong, but I remain mentally unhealthy </3 anxieties, dissociation, being kicked down at my worst.. im a good person, the bigger person, but jealousy from others drags me back into my depression days
I'm blocked from love. Please God let me break free from these chains!! ✨ somebody save me PLEASE 💛 if you're even reading this and listening to me right now, thank you. I appreciate that very much <3
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You are not alone! As a middle-child I have been through exactly the same feelings of being forgotten and left out. This will change and will get better over time, so don't worry about it, just be sure to remind them you are there.
I grew up feeling like nobody understood me, and I still feel that way today, I think we see and think about the world differently to the majority. The people that stick around are the people you need to keep around, the rest aren't worth wasting time over.
Being single might seem like a bad thing right now, but really don't worry, don't try to force something that will happen in good time. Focus on what is good, for you; something that you are passionate about or that just makes you feel good.
Having something to focus on and keep you busy will give you headspace, you'll start to see more clarity in your thoughts.
Love & trust can be fickle, you can devote entirely and still get stung; the application of both of these is a constant life lesson. If you can be devoted to love & trust in someone, then you are giving your 50% to the relationship; you have to believe the other will put in their 50%.
I have been stung, going out to seek love can cloud your judgement, in the conscious mind the thought of meeting someone is enough to make a bad judgment call. But if you just let it be, don't seek, the sub conscious well help ensure your judgement remains balanced.
Continue being the good person that you are, the people that do & will matter in your life will see that and will be drawn to you. Follow the good that is in your life.
ReplyWow. Those all very interesting and insightful points I must consider <3 You're right I should wait for the right time, and just work on still being me right now; a good person (: thank u thank u thank u so much! 💚
ReplySelf love, self confidence, self reliance and all those self oriented words are so hard to actually work upon! I am surrounded by people who make me feel completely weak. My dad gets angry whenever i speak my thoughts out because he assumes it, as talking back to him. My mom isn't supportive and when i told her that she demotivates me -- when i FINALLY had the courage to say it to her, she got angry saying, 'How dare you say that to me?' instead of holding me and telling me that she cares for me or something like that. My elder brother who I have looked up to my whole life has never acknowledged my existence. He always makes me feel like I am not good at anything. So as you can see, I am living with people who are supposed to be my family but they seem like bullies lol. I have accepted this. It's not my fault that dad believes he is a superior figure in terms of my will. It's not my fault that mom is too narrow-minded to understand that I simply want her support and that I am not blaming her for anything. And it's no damn way my fault that my brother is a patronizing and cocksure person. I know I am not at fault here. And you know that you're not at fault either. So it's okay. I am also born in a family which is just frustrating and mentally distressing. Well I don't know how to get past this situation so um i, well, googled my exasperation :P I came across this website --
https://www.ditchthelabel.org/overcoming-low-self-esteem/
Do visit this website. I am still on the 1st step of the methods they gave.
ReplyOh my gosh yes, I agree with so much of this! And seriously I really appreciate the information; i will DEFINITELY check out this website. Thanks so much! <3
Replyyayy, am glad that it helped! and no worries :)
Replycan i be your friend
Replylol of course! ^-^
Replydo you have any way to chat like gmail
ReplyI'm sorry i swear im not avoiding u. I've just been busy. I have an e chat account. We can talk there! :D my username is the same there
ReplyUnless u prefer gmail, yes we could do that too..
Replyyokeshmarvel@gmail.com
ReplyI'm a middle child too and I know those feelings! It's not forever, trust me. I am sure you will meet great people but until then, loving yourself is good. These days, I try to do little things that make me happy because it's really hard to be happy all the time. Some people say bubble baths and candles help, others say running and listening to music.
It takes time and it's not easy, but you'll get there. It will get better!
ReplyOh yay those are really great ideas. I'll be sure to try some of them, thank you! (:
Reply