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Hi there,
I hope you are all safe from the COVID-19 and managing well if still in lockdown.
I'm male and in my late 20s. I'm writing this post to get some help about my relationship with my parents.
Regardless they might like me; they think I am an idiot and treat me like a child.
You know, I'm not saying I'm some sort of genius or have done something heroic or extraordinary. But I have managed my life very well if I say so myself. I recently graduate with a master degree in Business Management (Economy) form a very good university in the UK. I actually graduated with merit.
I have been living on my own since I was 16 as I immigrated to the UK to carry on with my studies. This was my parents' decision to send me to a boarding school in the UK.
When I first came to the UK, I didn't know any English: I had to start from zero and work very hard because it was always some sort of time restriction to get a milestone done. That was my life for the next ten years to come. It was just going through semester to semester to eventually attain my master degree. I pretty much had to sacrifice everything else in my life to get to where I am. I don't really regret it, I actually have learnt a lot. I see myself an exciting career path and a financially secure life.
Having had this life, I just wish my parents to treat me a bit better. I just don't want them to think I'm an idiot or treat me like a child. You know, they always undermine my achievements. They always have an excuse for it too. They would say things like:
"Oh dear, they must have gone very easy on you; otherwise you would have been able to get done".
"You have done the bare minimum; everybody can do the same".
"You must have cheated or take a short cut in your approach; otherwise, this is not something that someone like you could have done."
I can't really have a conversation with them without them trying to point out every mistake I make. It feels like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm talking to them about something serious. Something like the career I'm thinking of choosing, the sort of friendship or relationship I'm excited about, a problem I have had etc. It just so obnoxious, it's like they let me finish and then immediately point out where I'm wrong.
"hahaha, that's so naive, that not how it works."
As I was growing up with them, I was like most teenagers: I loved pop music, I chased girls I found attractive, I smoked cigarettes to look cool, was not very serious about my studies. And maybe that's why they just judge like this. I don't know!
I have always appreciated and respect them a lot. But I don't get that in return. It just they treat me like a child.
I can't understand why do they treat me like this. Despite knowing my life very well, it seems like they are ignoring it, or don't believe that I have been through all of that.
At the end of the day it's not a big deal, I mean I can always stop my relationship with them. I don't need them, in fact, never did. But I feel some sort of gap, and it kind of bothers me. I wish there is something I could do before I decided to, ultimately, end my relationship with them.
Thank you guys for letting me do this.
Hopefully, I would get some very good comments from you.
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Talk to them about this.
ReplyYour parents are quite nasty. Talk to them and explain the way they are treating you. Tell them if they keep this up you will have no choice but to have nothing further to with them.
Reply