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about 2 or less years ago i found help for myself. i finally began breaking free from a lifetime of crushing social anxiety. my panic attacks lessened, i wouldn't be so shaky, i wouldn't be so nauseous to the point of gagging all the time, blah blah blah i just became a new person. now i never really have that kind of anxiety. i'm so grateful to finally be free from the thing i never thought i'd be free of. however, now that that's gone, i'm stuck in a place of purgatory. i love socializing, but i kind of can't. i never really learned how to properly do it and now i'm just awkward and unable to speak unless spoken to, in which i often give panicked and dry responses with a blank face. i do have a lot of friends that i love and am perfectly myself with, but otherwise i'm just at a stalemate. i can't talk to my teachers, counselors, or anyone that i haven't known for a long time; it has pretty negative affects on my schooling and there's no one else to blame but myself. i love social activities, but at a certain point the social parts of them become depressing and frustrating. there's so many things i want to get into. i love sports and getting to know people, but it's always going to be harder for me than it is for other people due to the years of fear i've been through. i guess i'm just venting, i don't really have a point here. i just have to keep trying. i really want to see a therapist or something, and even that involves talking to strangers. oh well.
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You can start here by talking to a stranger on one of the help lines on this site. The begin seeing a therapist.
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