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I don't know if I'll ever get married or date anyone again. I don't even if I WANT those things. Can I change my mind? Is it ever too late?
All you people giving advice on here, isn't it true you're all 14 year olds stuck in your house avoiding your parents? I did that once too. When I was 14 I put together a crappy PC with an external modem that blocked the phone line when you used it. Now everything is harder and worse and better and I'm filled with dread.
I feel peaceful when the dogs are at peace. I'm awake when they're awake. They bark at things at 2am, 3am, 4am, and then finally sleep around 6am. They whine for attention all day, and I feel sorry for myself that I have to care for these animals that I can never satisfy.
I would never satisfy a wife either. I'd need someone who basically never wanted to talk to me so that we can go on with our lives separately. I don't know how to give support, I am irritated by things after a while.
Mostly I am irritated by myself, and I am filled with the dread of hurting others and making others' lives worse off with me in it. This is why suicide seems like such an optimal solution for little ol butter fat me.
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If they love you then you won't make their life worse off.
ReplyI am certainly not a 14 year old avoiding my parents. I have grown kids and grandkids. I had to laugh when I read that. We have two dogs here and they are quiet all night. Every dog I have ever owned has been quiet at night. The neighbour's dogs are quiet all night long as well. If you are worried about hurting others instead of bothering to suicide how about just keeping away from people. Then you will be alive to look after your dogs. Who will look after them if not you?
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