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05/19/2020: Yesterday was my first day for my Bread Block at school. Also my first virtual hands on block too. This Coronavirus pandemic sucks most days. Well we made baguettes and not gonna lie I was hella proud of myself. It was tense and heartbreaking sometimes, but at the end I made it. It was gorgeous. So I did some photography of them, which also came out great. I was also invited to a nacho gathering in my apartments. I was about an hour late, but oh well school first. I didn’t even try the bread yet just looked at it, admired it, and took pictures of it. So while I’m at this gathering, I get a message from my roommate that I wrote “chocolate” on her lazy Susan. I was very confused about what she was talking about. Saying I was going to stain it. I then realized what she was talking about. I wrote in black store bought icing on the wood round for my pictures. She was like “You should have asked first.” I didn’t know it was hers, but you know I apologized blah blah. I respect that and stuff. So I came back home and cleaned the icing off the board. It of course didn’t stain. I wouldn’t have put it on there if it would’ve stained. But anyways that’s not what I was writing today for. It’s just that bothered me later that day and while I was at that nacho gathering. I was actually enjoying myself away from my irritating roommates for once and I still needed to deal with them/her. After I cleaned up the mess I decided to video call my dad and twin sister, because fuck...I was very happy that I made a baguettes successfully. I was very very very proud of myself. So I finally cut open them and tried a piece. Still amazing. As you may know I am crazy about my Baking and school and such. Baking is my passion, so that’s why I’m in school for it. Duh. Very passionate about it, so when something goes wrong or if I fail or if someone just doesn’t respect the product I made (for example cutting a cake wrong, eating it when it’s not finished, stuff like that). My roommates waste the stuff I bake sometimes, so I decided to give it to my other classmates, who will eat and actually judge it. I’m baking and pastry and I have some culinary classmates who live in these apartments. I didn't want anyone to touch the bread I made, because I was giving them away to someone else. So I did my normal things later that night and sent all the pictures to my family and stuff. After that I went to bed happy, but yet a bit irritated. Every time I woke up yesterday/early this morning I read the messages of my family and friends about the pictures of the baguettes, so I respond and go back to sleep. I woke up again, went potty then read some text messages from my roommate ( who I also sent pictures). One said “very cool”, another said, “ that’s so cute.” I went back to sleep and woke up again around 5:45am today and read one message from my roommate(who complained about the icing being on her lazy Susan) saying, “I have to confess. I ate the slice of baguette you already cut off thinking it was OK then I realized that maybe I shouldn’t have done that for one reason or another. It was very good though.” Mannnn. I said, “ of course. And yah you shouldn’t have.” I tried to go back to sleep, but couldn’t I have this terrible angry hurt triggered feeling and couldn’t bear it. So I woke up, worked out, took a shower and stuff like that. It just reminded my how people don’t give a fuck and will do anything to you expecting that if they just say sorry it will be fine. It’s not. I began thinking about the other similar things that happened like that. Which bothered me even more. Which was freshman year when that dude sexually harassed me while I was partially asleep. Just triggering how people just do things expecting that it’s fine or whatever. It’s still eating at me.
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You will eventually forget about this as new things happen in your life. You are so lucky that you already have a passion and one day you will have your own store where you will make and sell very yummy food! Good on you!
ReplyThank You!
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