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I'm not a bad friend if I don't reply to your messages all the time. It doesn't mean I don't care. It means I am emotionally and mentally exhausted. Dealing with other people's problems require energy that I just don't have right now. I have my own problems, struggles and tribulations too and It isn't fair that I have to be someone else's support when I can't even support myself. Me not replying, is me setting up healthy boundaries, and if that makes me a bad friend- than so be it. I've learned that most people take without giving back and I'm tired of being emotionally used.
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Are you me? Because I'm literally the same dude and I always feel like I'm being a bad friend not replying but you're right, it requires energy that I don't have and its not like my mates ever put energy into supporting me. So I feel ya bro, we in this together:)
ReplyYou are not a bad friend, not are they.
May be they don't know what you are going through.
They may be texting to know if you are alright.
Or must be wondering if they did anything wrong that you aren't replying to Thier messages like you used to before,
May be you not replying to Thier messages is making them anxious and worried.
ReplyNo you’re not but what if this friend is worrying about you knowing you have stuff going on, knowing that you’re struggling just a message to saying can you give me space is better than being ignored I guess and I’m sure if their intentions are genuine they’ll give you that space. However only you know their intentions but don’t push people away either if they are genuine
ReplyI tend to attract a lot of needy people, usually when someone messages me it's to get something from me, support or to help them with something and usually that's fine, when I'm okay that's fine. I'm the friend who is always there for other people but for some reason when I need help no one is there for me. Even my own mother is like this, I can literally sit on the phone for an hour not saying a word while she talks about her problems. I'm emotionally burnt out, I feel like people just like to take and take and take. Pushing them away right now is the better option than having the extra wait of their problems on my shoulders.
ReplyI totally relate to you. I have these two friends who have "bigger" problems than I do which causes me to ignore myself and I feel like I can't tell them about how I feel because it doesn't relate to their problems and isn't as big of a problem. I feel the same and I hope that you can work it out with them and you are not a bad friend for needing to take care of yourself.
ReplyI'm in a similar situation, but I am the friend who is messaging. Coming from that perspective, I am trying to contact the person because I miss them and I felt like we were drifting apart. I tried to make up for that by messaging too often. I am making an effort to work to communicate with this person better. We just have different communication styles and I am unsure how to deal with it. If they felt used, I wish they had told me to back off sooner. I'm sorry on behalf of the messenger.
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