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There are so many things about myself that I wish I could talk about to the people I love. Yet, I am so ashamed of the thing that I was. The scared, hopeless thing of my past. But, every so often it takes me back. It controls my thoughts and my feelings. Who I was, and who I ran from. Maybe there will come a day where I will tell the people that I love what I have been through that no one knows, except for the people that I was with. The scared, hopeless girl that is still needing validation in this world. The girl who wanted to be caring and soft. The girl who no longer wanted to hurt people, and scare them away. Wanting that made everything so much worse. She sought someone who would help her see what she wanted. She learned many things that she never thought she would. The scared, little girl I once was, was so naive. Getting taken advantage of, getting used for other peoples needs. She never asked for any of it. She was so young. She grew up so much faster than she should have. She grew up at 11. She did things she shouldn't have at 11. She lied at 11. She sought validation at 11. She sought to be loved by someone at 11. Still, no one knew she was 11 at all. She had lied to these people because she couldn't lose anyone else. She wanted to be accepted by people she didn't even know, people who were using her, just because they could. She had to grow up, there was no other way. She couldn't tell anyone what was happening because she knew it was wrong. But she needed something. Well, she thought she did. No one knew she was growing up, not even her. Until one day she did.
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That is victim blaming. I don't think an 11 year old would lie about her age.
Replythe only permission , the only validation and the only opinion that matters in our quest for greatness is our own
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