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When I was younger, I used to want to be someone great.
The president, maybe. That was cool!
Except politics is hard and manipulative.
What about an Olympian?
There are men's events and woman's events. They won't acknowledge that I am a real man, and competing as a woman is wrong.
For a while, I wanted to be a counselor, helping people and aiding them in their fight with trauma and mental health.
But I'm an empath and being around too many highly emotional people makes me physically sick.
So now, I'm struggling my way through school, dreaming of impossible things.
I can sing, like really well. I also like writing music about my experiences and I want people like me to hear it and feel comfort.
I also love writing and I practice it all the time. Again, I want to represent myself so kids can read a book and see then reflected in me.
But these dreams seem so impossible. I'm the (closeted) son of a office manager and a librarian from a middle class, middle-sized city that is definitely not LA or New York. I don't have opportunities to follow the path I want for myself. I don't know if I would be happy following after my parents.
I'm not unlucky; I thank God every day for what I have. I'm a privileged white man (who everyone sees as a woman). I don't feel any remorse for the life I've been given, only longing to make my dreams come true. I want the world to know who I am so I can make an impact.
We'll see where I am in a few years. Only thing I can do is keep dreaming and working hard.
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Keep dreaming. Dreams can be suffocating if you can't accomplish them, I understand very deeply how much it hurts to not achieve your soul's wishes. Try and if you can't try to do something similar.
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