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Let me explain schizophrenia. It’s when hear voices, start seeing things and talk to yourself... or at least that’s how it is for me. I hear voices arguing everyday. Then screaming. Then silence. As if they never were there.
Rumination is when you think a lot. Like a lot. It’s extremely annoying and hard to stop. I think of words normally. So I break the words up into points. A consonant has one point. A vowel costs two points. You need to make the words equal, so put them into pairs. So a word like cat would be CA AT, because the consonant needs to have pair, so you take an something from the A and then you have a pair. But then that leaves the other part of the A all alone, so you use the T then you have a pair. The X and the Y is changeable, meaning they can either cost two points or one. Word groups like th sh ph ch can be either one.
I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, i feel like I’m having a heart attack, I’ve thought of suicide, rumination is frickin annoying and I’m getting sick of the voices. I need help.
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ReplyI know
ReplyYou won't ever be creative again or have any form of abstract thought on it & it can cause hallucinations in itself. They destroy you.
ReplyDoing normal things won't be possible such as walking, you'll feel really really drowsy & it causes brain zaps & many many other things. It practically disables your brain. You'll lose all your feelings, it also causes memory problems, dissociation & it practically makes you lose your sense of being. It's like being dead but still walking, mindless. You don't care about anything or anyone. It's also known to cause brain shrinkage & kill brain cells in a way that doesn't repair itself.
ReplyIt's a lot harder to walk* for example
ReplyIt's okay to be weird, be different, society ostracizes anyone who is
ReplyBasically everyday tasks will be a lot lot lot harder to do.
ReplyHey by the way I'm here for you no matter what I know that sounds proper weird coming from a stranger but I get being different isn't easy x
ReplyI am not a person who's well versed or even 10% versed with schizophrenia and rumination. So, I am not gonna act like I know everything about it. After reading your words and the comments, I have understood, that it must be hard. Hell, hard doesn't even make up for one fourth of your situation and all the schizo victims out there. The only thing I can propose is to talk. If you feel like talking to someone like me, am all ears. Seriously, we all require us some buddies.
ReplyI strongly agree KathSebastian
ReplyPlease see a doctor.
ReplyIt's dehumanising
Reply