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Sitting alone trying to ignore the thoughts in my head. There are days they are much quieter and some where they are screaming at me. Lately, these past few years they have been impossible to ignore. It started with this thought that it would be so much easier if I were not here. It turned into me actively wishing I was not. But i'm trapped. I can't just go. I'm stuck in a world not of my choosing. Something has changed this past year. I've never before felt like I have reached the end of my rope. But everyday now I need to fight for one more hour, one more day. I feel like I honestly can't take anymore. It feels like i'm going to snap in two. Everyone tells me that life's bound to get better, or turn around after all i've been through. Maybe in the beginning I actually believed it. But after years and years of one horrible thing after another. I understand that not everyone gets their happy ending. For some people it just doesn't get better.
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For some people it takes much longer for life to get better. Finding joy in the smallest of things is the best way to start feeling a bit more positive.
Giving up is not the answer. The thoughts you have make it seem it will all go away... but there is no second chance if that happens.
Please talk to someone. Do not deal with this alone. Being alone traps you with all kinds of thoughts.
Whatever you went through in life made you stronger... you just do not see that yet.
God bless you. The world needs you.
ReplyI find a comforting feeling in knowing that I am not alone in feeling like every day- sometimes hours- are a fight to get through. Thank you for sharing, I sincerely hope you find something more to fight for ❤️ Because though I don't know you, I will fight for you.
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