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Dear Mom, 06/23/2020
Let me be me.
I know what you think is the ideal childhood. I know what you think the goal is for life. I know how you see the world. But, remember who I am. I'm not you. I have my own ideas, opinions, and my own life. Hear me, see me, help me. Let me be me.
Stop trying to live your life through me. I'm your child not your second chance. Let me try my way, let me live. I am not who you want me to be. I am not living for you. I am living because you, yes. But, I am not you. Let me be me.
I know you're disappointed in me. I know you are trying to give me what you think is the ideal life. I know you are trying. But you are trying for yourself. Let me be me.
I hate this.
I hate that you can’t accept who I am. I hate that you can’t accept my opinions. I hate that you can't accept my accomplishments. I hate that you can’t accept my failures. I hate that I don't live up to my sister. I hate that I am not who you wanted. I hate this.
I hate that I am constantly too small. I hate that I am constantly too short. I hate that I'm constantly too thin. I hate that im constantly too dumb. I hate that i can’t please you. I hate that i never succeed in your eyes. I hate that my life is a living punching bag for you. I hate that I never meet your standards. I hate this.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter. i'm sorry I'm not your ideal daughter. I'm sorry I was the egg that was fertilized. I'm sorry I don't fill the gap in your life. I'm sorry I can never step out of my sister’s shadow. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect. I'm sorry i don't want to do that anymore. I'm sorry I have a different goal for myself. I'm sorry I never fit on your vision board. I'm sorry I didn't fulfill your dreams. I'm sorry.
Do you still love me?
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