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My cousin always shame me for not having a friend. Can she just mind her own damn business. She said this things insultingly like:
"i have friends unlike you!"
"I bet you don't how it feels like to (things you do with your friends)"
"you're a loner"
And many more
It hurts me even if it's actually my choice to not have any friend. The real reason why I don't want a friend is because I used to have a best friend that committed suicide. I still can't believe that she's gone even though it's 2 years ago. She was my best friend for 8 years. I can't help but blame myself for her death because I'm not by her side when she needed it but I tried my best to make her feel that I'm with her even though she lives in another city in our country that is very far from where I live. After her death I just found myself being cold to everyone and I lost interest in making friends. People think that I'm a "cold" person now. I never told anyone this reason.
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What do you owe these people? You dont owe them your time let alone your reasoning for your trauma.
You shouldnt ever have to justify your pain to anyone ever. Your pain is your own, its caused by your own reasons. If they lack the experience you had, then they lack the pain you feel. They have no right to judge you for the hurt you feel.
It is your choice, I've fought to keep one friend. I dont want any others and yet, they assume choices for me, regardless of my choice. You need to be vocal and let them understand that your choice is still your choice.
ReplyKeep away from this nasty cousin. Because your friend suicided doesn't mean you should never have another friend. Maybe one day you will make a friend (or friends) again and not be cold to others. I am sorry for your loss.
ReplyReal Friends are rare gems which we rarely find. And you had such friend, but you lost her. So it is okay to feel not making more friends, but in time you will heal and will have more friends. Just don't mind what others say, their opinion don't matter much. So be yourself.
Reply