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if i end up ending it all, i don't want those who caused me all of my pain and suffering to be at my funeral. i don't want them posting about how much they care for me on social media, because they didn't care when i could only wear sweatpants because the amount of self harm scars on my body. they didn't care when i would sob silently right next to them after a retort. they didn't care when they bullied me. they didn't care when i attempted last time. they didn't care when i couldn't leave my bed. they didn't care when i had thoughts of crashing my car to kill myself. they didn't care when they manipulated me. they didn't care when they talked about me. they didn't care when i would punch myself so hard in the head i couldn't see after. they didn't ever care when i was alive. if i died, they wouldn't deserve to cry. they caused me nothing but agonizing pain and sorrow while i was alive, and crying because im gone will never be as painful as what i had to go through. i wonder who would truly be upset if i died. i wonder who would feel guilty. i wish those people who caused me pain knew that my self harm and attempts were caused by their actions. their words. i told my sister if i die, that she could be my bouncer for my funeral. if someone tries to come that caused me pain, she would boot them out. the sentiment is sweet, but sometimes thinking about being gone is sweeter.
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Don't end it all.youre here for a reason. Every single survivor of jumping off the golden gate bridge regretted it. Stay strong ok people do care.
Replyknow that you're so so loved, I don't know you but I love you, I don't know you but I hear and understand you. Know that your future will be bright and happy, and all the pain you're going through will pass. Stay strong.
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