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I don't know why, but I would like to hear how other people think a family with a work from home mom, 7 year old, 10 year old, 13 year old, and 15 year old girl, 3 dogs, and a dad who is deployed 24/7 should work. My house is no longer the place where I feel the happiest. I actually look forward to going to my gymnastics gym for 4 hours 5 days a week. It's not just being quarantined either! I've looked forward to going the school for 6 hours then the gym for 3.5 hours since school started last year! Ever since my dad got deployed last July my house has been the scene of many physical and verbal fights from me my mom and my sisters. I have the busiest schedule out of everyone living in my house currently and I enjoy it because I get to be away from my family. It isn't always great though because usually as soon as I get home I am hit with yelling from my mom or 13 year old sister, told to feed my 2 youngest sisters lunch, told to clean up 5 million things around the house, and then take care of all the dogs within 30 minutes of being home. Then they all wonder why I'm always in a bad mood or yelling at people or why I never take care of myself or why I break down in tears over nothing. The fact is I feel like noone in my house understands why I'm the way I am. I am the way I am because of everything they push on me. They justify making me do all this because I'm the oldest and I get to do a lot more then everyone else. My mom asks me to feed my sisters, watch them, clean their mess, and fix their clothes for them but she gets mad when I parent them. I feel like my mom doesn't parent them and my dad isn't here so he can't parent them so I do it because nobody else does it. When my mom yells at me to stop parenting I want to yell "Then you should start parenting them!!!" but I hold back to respect her. It's frustrating because I get yelled at for almost everything and I can never find a safe way to tell my mom how I feel without sounding extremely disrespectful. Even as I'm typing this I feel like I'm being a bratt and ungrateful for the life I have. I know others have it worse, but I wish I could just feel happy where I live.
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I never knew there was someone feeling the same way I do. Being the eldest is so tough. Nobody understands that that does not justify us to be overworked and unappreciated. All I can tell you is to persevere until you get your own home. That is my dream and the only thing that keeps me surviving in this crazy house
ReplyThank you sooo much for replying to this, I feel so much better knowing i'm not the only one! I'm looking forward to the day I can move out too!!!
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