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Why am I always second-best, or even lower down? Nobody ever chooses me first, and I try to convince myself that it's okay, but it's not. My anxiety and depression tell me that I'm worthless and ugly daily, and I can't even argue with it because they're right. If they weren't, maybe somebody would choose me, and not my best friend. Even my ex is now dating my best friend. It hurts. It's not cause I like him, I don't, but it hurts because it brings back memories of all the times people would only become friends with me to learn more about my friends, or only talk to me so they could be near my friends. Just for once, I want to be somebody's first choice. I want to be their number one. It's stupid but...I don't know. I'm tired. It's 5 in the morning and I'm ranting again. I just want somebody to fall in love with me. With all of me, not just the good sides, but the bad sides too. Guess that's pretty much it, I don't want to make this rant too long.
I hope anybody who reads this has a good day, and if you don't, know that it gets better, and I'm here for you if you wanna talk. Love you♥
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im also here for you to talk <3
ReplyDear, it's not stupid, everybody wants to be someone's number one, everyones want to be loved by other....I totally get u. I know that you are a good person. Just wait till someone finds the real you and love you.. You are unique. You are the best. Its just that the one who could see the real you has not appeared in the scene, but i know he will soon come... Keep waiting... True love is worth waiting, isn't it?
Love u dear<3
Stay happy ^_^
ReplyThank you, this really cheered me up♥
ReplyI get where you're coming from I struggle with thoughts like that too and anxiety depression off and on. I wish I could find someone too a companion I don't like being lonely. Looking for good things in life counting blessings and a relationship with God helps me. You have a good day too. I'm here to talk too if you need it xx
ReplyI promise you'll find a companion who loves you for you. Just gotta wait for them♥
ReplyA similar thing just happened to me a while ago. I was in my back shed with my boarder, his female cousin, and his friend. The friend was telling us about a drama he had previously had with someone. We were all listening and talking when my boarder told me to leave! His friend went outside and I followed then the next thing he went back in, the door was shut and the three of them stayed in there. So I went into the house for a moment and I was so upset I went back to the shed, stayed outside and yelled, "You needn't tell me to leave! This is my shed and my property! F..k off!" They all went quiet because that spoilt their secret conversation. Then a little while later they came outside I Yelled at the boarder, "You can get your stuff out of here!" He tried to say he has a lease. I told him there is no lease. I also told him he didn't tell anyone else to leave. He said he was giving them a lift. He said he'd see me tomorrow and as he walked off I yelled at him to move out. I might have trouble getting him out. This is just like you say, every one else comes first. I honestly had done nothing to make him tell me to leave. He is so nasty at times.
ReplyYou sound like someone who would enjoy dating someone like myself, who is more prone to getting to know the ins and outside. Not just knowing the scars and flaws, but loving you for them.
That is my purpose in this life. It brings me happiness and it's all I've ever wanted. So trust me, there are people out there that are like me, a thousand times better than me.
But I do still enjoy cherishing the notion. To fill all those cracks with love and acceptance. Oh to dream again
ReplyYou sound like a really sweet and kind person, thank you so much.
Also, there are always going to be people who do something better than you do, but as long as you keep doing it, that's all that really matters. You're still making people feel loved and accepted, and that is more than good enough.
♥Have a good life stranger♥
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