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Dear My best friend;
I thought I knew what love was, I thought I was ready to get up and try again. I was wrong. I stepped in too fast. I stepped in too far. Saying 'I love you' has more meaning than I thought.
I feel like I could never tell you this in a million years, you've been through a lot, I'm here for you. But, I don't think you've been listening lately, you listen to my stories and the poems I write, yet you never seem to grasp my problem. All of a sudden, we're back to you.
"Hey, *someone* texted me last night, they said they were having suicidal thoughts"
"Oh, OK. Anyway, we're getting a dog soon"
"I feel off today you know I didn't sleep well"
"I never sleep you know, come on"
Like, I appreciate all that you do for me, your there for me. But. I've been changed. Inside. I no longer feel like this is my right body, I long to flow with the rain on stormy nights and the snow on winter's days. I was exposed to the wrong things at the wrong time, the wrong place, the wrong age. I hope you'll understand. But I can no longer say 'I love you' and mean it once again.
Thanks dude.
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