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First off I want to say what happened to you wasn’t your fault. You need to know what happened to you is DONE and they could no longer hurt you again. Let this pain go and realize you’re a SURVIVOR not a victim. They were never your friends they were predators. When one of them forced you to give him oral sex then the next day you wanted to tell him what he wasn’t cool but he told you he couldn’t remember because he was drunk then it happened. You should’ve cut all ties with him but you didn’t because you honestly thought he didn’t mean it. Then one day you hung out with him and his friends at night where they sexually assaulted you you wanted to scream and cry but you had to fight them off of you. Why didn’t you call or go to the cops when the police station was a 10 minute walk or a 3 minute drive. I HATED you so much because you suffered in silence for 5 YEARS. You been diagnosed with Anxiety Disorders and Depression. You tried to commit suicide but you were unsuccessful. You finally told your mom and family what happened to you a month before your birthday thinking everything will be different emotionally. Emotionally it was the same as before but it takes time! You have a wonderful loving boyfriend that will be by your side no matter what, you have a loving sister that been by your side helping you and didn’t judge you etc. Once COVID gets under control you will see a professional and help you get through this.
I FORGIVE MY 17 YEAR OLD SELF! I LOVE YOU YOURE A SURVIVOR!! KARMA WILL OR DID GET THEM!!
Sincerely,
23 year old me NOW
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