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So am laying here in the dark, at four in the morning . Typing away on my phone, in my room all alone. I always hated being alone but now I prefer it. I used to enjoy the company of others because it would stop me from being sad. Now I'm sad all the time anyway so I'd rather be alone to cry in peace where people can't ask me what's wrong.
Sometimes I just pace back and forth for hours thinking of everything. My mind is so hard to shut off. I have so many questions about the world. I wonder that if maybe I knew less, I'd be happier. Because the more I know, the less I feel like I know. I wish my head would just stop thinking so hard.
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Sometimes we need time for ourselves and sometimes we need time with others. Its definitely a conundrum. Nowadays however it's easier to be alone then trying to be with someone, friends or family or what have you.
Writing this is a good start in finding a way out of the monotony of loneliness. Hobbies are a great way to shut off the brain and just focus on something. Try making a poem. Or song. Post it and let us hear it. Ask for advice about it, ask what's good and what's not so good.
ReplyThank you, I actually post on a poetry sight quite often it's something I enjoy. I also paint my worries and write stories. I've been trying to use all that to distract me but as soon as I try to sleep all my worries come rushing back in.
ReplyIm happy to hear that. Where do you post your poems if you dont mind me asking. I'd love to read them.
Worries tend to do that, especially when you try to sleep. So what worries you so much if that's ok of me asking. I know the world is pretty crazy right now and I get that a lot of people are pretty stressed out lately.
ReplyI post on Allpoetry as LosingFaith. I have a lot of worries at the moment, I'm being diagnosed with what they think is some kind of allergy however because of covid-19 it's been delayed and so I can't eat any hard foods and am in constant pain. I'm also a first year pediatric nursing student so my course has had to change and so starting September I go onto 14 week clinical placements to make up for the time we've lost. Not to mention one of my lecturers has died and my uncle now has confirmed coronavirus and is in hospital.
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