What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
I did a lot of thinking and thought I should post this:
I love my mother however, she makes me want to kill myself, and I almost did just now. I will tell you what happened and what she has done in the past. My mother wants me to get into dance however, I told her no. Why? I am insecure. I hate my body, I hate my face, and I hate my voice. Not only that but I have paranoia schizophrenia, I had an ED, I was diagnosed with depression, AND diagnosed with social anxiety. But we aren't done. I am also a scrawny pimple face teen with absolutely no rhythm, why did she think I would be up for it? I have no idea. I have expressed this to her on multiple occasions but she mocks me. So now she is mad at me and took everything I entertain myself with. She also hit me a lot and called me names. Just a bunch of slurs.
Her Past: My mother is narcissistic. She is self-centred and loves to be the centre of attention. She cares more about her boyfriends than her actuality children. She manipulates her boyfriends too. "The children are so sad that you are gone" When in actuality, we never liked the guy. Shed also say "I have been depressed and not eating." But she went out to eat with some other guy. Sometimes what she says is true, I will admit that but she lies a lot. Not only that but she points out everyone's flaws and when we say one thing about her, she cries. She told me my nose was big and that I looked like I had bulimia, so I told her she gossips too much and she flipped out and said she wished she aborted me. I apologized as always. My mother also uses us as her mental punching bags, she is in love with this guy but I am pretty sure he is not in love with her. Every time he leaves, she takes it out on us. She calls us names, takes our devices, and more. She gets mad over the tiniest things, as in me drawing something on my tablet instead of spending time with her when she doesn't even care about my mental status. She does not even spend time with us, she is gone half of the day.
Even with all of this said, she treats my siblings with full respect. this is why I think she hates me only. She treats me like trash. I get more punishments for things I didn't even do. There are plenty of days he has threatened to take me to psych ward after saying I wanted to kill myself instead of asking why...but when my sister said the same thing, she was there for her. My sister was lying and joking though. She gets mad at me if I have one B and the rest are As when my sister brings in Fs and Ds. She doesn't care if I ate, she doesn't care that I have been diagnosed with so many mental illnesses, she does not care about me. There are plenty of days when I just want to jump off a bridge or just suffocate myself, but I'm too much of a coward to do so. I'm waiting to turn 18 to get out of here because my siblings treat me like trash also, but I don't think I can last 2 more years.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Quick Question
Have you ever come across those people who always play the victim in every situation? The ones who create a mountain out of a molehill. The ones who turn nothin...
-
If You're Feeling...
So, I've been wanting to do this for a while. Basically, I'm going to write some common emotions that people may be feeling, and some songs that may make you fe...
My heart goes out to you. I had a bad childhood also. You will carry those mental scars for years to come. I got a job when I was 15 by the time I was 16 I shared a apartment with friends. But time's where different then. I got emancipated. Still I was clueless. The ironic thing is I take care of her now. If I can suggest anything a part time job will get you out of the situation a little more and you can save a little money for when you're old enough to leave.
ReplyI'll be honest my dad makes me feel the same. It's not the answer though as long as we're living we have a purpose. Sorry your mom makes you feel that way.
ReplyNarcissistic abuse is such a terrible terrible kind of abuse. The people are so so clever when they do it it's horrible.
ReplyHonestly celebrate the good things in you even if you think there are none. Even if your inner monologue & voices say otherwise it's ingrained from the abuse. Because you are beautiful. You are not worthless. You're human.
ReplyNar______ a___ is one of the most most most terrible kind.
Reply