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I have always battled with depression and anxiety, but in the last two years i saw great improvement. I have truly never been so happy in my life, i finally felt free. But then covid happened. At first I kept a schedule, I woke up with an alarm, worked out and stayed busy throughout the day. I knew if i did not have a schedule things could get bad. But then we had to move houses. Something about this move put me back into very dark feelings. I have no motivation to get up, get ready, or do just about anything. I spend most of my days in my bed crying, the thought of getting up and opening my blinds seem too hard. I am home from college, living with my mom and her new husband and his kids. I am about 2 hours away from my dad, siblings, and the town I grew up in. I feel so alone, and extremely out of place. This lockdown does not seem to be lifting any time soon, and my college has moved to sticktly online again. I feel like there is no hope, and the light is dimming. I am really, really sad. I am not going to harm myself, but the thoughts are in my mind. Although I have no intentions on doing anything of that nature. I just need someone to talk to, because it feels like no one understands my mind. I love my family, but talking to them on this deep of a level isnt something I want, or am fully comfortable with.
I am sorry if this is long and dragging out. It just feels good to type it all out, even though this isnt even half of what I am feeling inside.
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Try the churches in your area because some have a counselor you can see for free. It could be the new place you have moved to that makes you feel like this. I knew a woman who was quite happy until she moved house. She lived her life exactly the same as she did before the move but after it she felt unhappy all of the time. Years ago I moved to a different street in the suburb I was in and then I felt down every Sunday evening and I have no idea why.
ReplyHow are you feeling today, sweetheart ? ♥ ♥
I pray you will be fine really soon ♥
Taking a walk (into nature) daily can do wonders, figuring out your thoughts and talking to yourself to understand yourself. Journaling can help too (:
I hope that you have at least someone/pet you can talk to and try to not think about negative things for that time
♥
ReplyHi there,
Let me help you by bringing some clarity and reminder by going through each paragraph you’ve posted here.
YOU: “I have always battled with depression and anxiety, but in the last two years i saw great improvement. I have truly never been so happy in my life, i finally felt free.”
ME: This became possible because YOU have ALLOWED yourself to feel happy.
YOU: “But then covid happened. At first I kept a schedule, I woke up with an alarm, worked out and stayed busy throughout the day. I knew if i did not have a schedule things could get bad.”
ME: You had a routine that you’ve gotten used to. Used to what? Do things and think things. You became dependent on this that YOU’VE BELIEVED that a slight change can make things go bad and will make you feel bad.”
YOU: “But then we had to move houses. Something about this move put me back into very dark feelings. I have no motivation to get up, get ready, or do just about anything. I spend most of my days in my bed crying, the thought of getting up and opening my blinds seem too hard. I am home from college, living with my mom and her new husband and his kids. I am about 2 hours away from my dad, siblings, and the town I grew up in. I feel so alone, and extremely out of place. This lockdown does not seem to be lifting any time soon, and my college has moved to sticktly online again. I feel like there is no hope, and the light is dimming. I am really, really sad.This lockdown does not seem to be lifting any time soon, and my college has moved to sticktly online again. I feel like there is no hope, and the light is dimming. I am really, really sad. I am not going to harm myself, but the thoughts are in my mind. Although I have no intentions on doing anything of that nature. I just need someone to talk to, because it feels like no one understands my mind. I love my family, but talking to them on this deep of a level isnt something I want, or am fully comfortable with.”
ME: Change is the only permanent thing that has brought and still bringing effects on people...our world. Reactions vary on one's beliefs. Beliefs are just the thoughts that we keep thinking about.
We all have our comfort zone that even the slightest change can affect our behavior, our perception.
The good thing about change is IT LETS US GROW: mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Growth/Evolution is the catalyst of change. It causes one to have new desires and calls us to CREATE SOMETHING NEW for ourselves. It means we have to break our old habits and routine to develop new ones. Doing these and going through the process make us feel uncomfortable at first until we get used to it again.
Let the move in your family make you curious and focus on the NEW EXCITEMENT it will bring. There is nothing to think yet about it’s outcome. YOUR THOUGHTS and the stories you add to your thoughts create fear making you feel sad too. But YOU CAN THINK of good feeling thoughts. If you're able and allowed yourself feel free, you can do that AGAIN. YOU HAVE THE POWER to change the way you look at things, situations and people. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE in control of your reaction and NO ONE AND NOTHING can do that for you. YOU ARE AN INDESTRUCTIBLE POWERFUL BEING.
YOU: “I am sorry if this is long and dragging out. It just feels good to type it all out, even though this isnt even half of what I am feeling inside.”
ME: There’s nothing to apologize. I am glad that you feel good by releasing your feelings through this platform.
Take care. Let your focus be on the lesson of each feelings and experience than the pain and suffering. Let every life experience and people be your teachers and inspirers to help you grow. No one and nothing can bring harm to you unless you allow them to. The main question of this post is will you allow yourself to feel sad, anxious and depress again?
ReplyI hear ya!
Reply