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Is it weird that most of the times I've cut myself. More than wanting to die. It was the pain that came with the cuts that satisfied me?
PS. I don't cut anymore. But looking at my old scars lately, I've just been wondering
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Hi.
Hi, my name's Violet. (Not really) No one in my family knows this. But, when I have an argument with someone, especially someone in my family, I pinch myself, h...
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I..
When i was ten, An incident happened to make me want to kill myself. After things calmed down.. and when things went back to normal , I didn't. The feeling...
seems like, this quarantine is shadowing depression over many people's head.
m not some professional guy who knows their.
m here just to tell u
i understand what u go through . i have some scars on my both wrist too from when i was a teenager. being a 14 years old i had to grow up too soon .
i understand it brings immense joy when u feel the pain of that blade meeting ur flesh better than whats going around u .
but sweety when some1 said scars will be memory of how brave u are is only a metaphor not a literal meaning.
Honey ... life is a rollercoaster. there is no fun if u decide to jump out of the seat coz u r too afraid to take the risk so u can enjoy the ride. there is no plain road every path is bumpy. u need to stay strong . someday when u have kids will u show ur hand scars and tell them how u used to escape the pain with that cut or will u tell them that nothing could beat u , u were a brave person . this is reality. either u can rise higher after every fall or cry in some corner
believe me no one around u only smiles , they cry too ; but they know how to hide ...and in the mean time u can be kind to some1 and that thing will come to u again .
Either u can count ur tears and cry more or u can laugh at ur worries .
ReplyNot op but I prefer laughing as crying
Replyjust dnt cut urself ok.
thats never the answer .
and if u ever want to talk i can drop my insta id . m all ears .
xoxo :)
ReplyOh, I don't cut anymore. Nor do I even think of doing so, but I just want to understand better what I was doing as my younger self. I know there's no point trying to escape life, it's hard for everyone im sure of it. But I just want to understand every part of me better so that I can be better. I'm actually quite happy with where I am compared to where I was, and I think I'm taking the steps in the right direction. But thank you for everything you said :))
ReplyI think I get what you're saying. I also think theres a reason. Emotional pain more often than not tends to feel worse than physical pain. As a teenager, we experience a plethora of emotions that only intensify as the days go by. It gets harder to control and truth be told, growing up lends itself well to the feeling of having no control. When we hurt, our minds convince us that our world is ending. It's the first time we hurt in certain ways so our brains dont know how to process it, so it just focuses on the pain.
Emotions are hard to control as teenagers, what with all the hormones and other equally as confused peers. When we finally cut, it's out of some desire to gain a semblance of control over the worst aspect of our growth, pain. We control how deep the blade goes into our wrist and we control the line we make. When we cut, its power to us. The world can't dictate the blade, and the physical sensation of cutting helps us focus on the act itself. It's like a surrogate for the pain we feel inside and in some way, we finally have control.
Of course that isnt true and we realize this the older we get. But understanding the actions we take and took is important. These actions defined the creature we became. I had the same desire to figure out why I do what I do. It's a whole new world and it really does change your perspective on things. Hope some of this helped, this isnt one hundred percent fact, mostly anecdotal evidence and observations. Stay safe wherever you are
ReplyThank you for your opinion, I actually loved reading it, and I think I relate. A lot of times having things feel under your Control has helped me calm down before. I really appreciate the insight
ReplyI'm glad I could help!
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