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I'm a girl, 19 years old, second year college student and I never had a relationship and it bothers me sometimes. I just have to get this off my mind. This may be a long story, I don't know.
Okay so my love life pretty much doesn't exist. I have no experience, never had a boyfriend, never kissed someone or did something more or less, never have been on a date, nothing. When I see people together I like to have something similar. I want to have someone I can tell everything to, do fun things together, love each other, kiss, hold hands and all that stuff. I feel like I'm so behind on everyone, kids nowadays have a 'relationship' at 14 years old!
Yes, I've had some 'things/connections' with boys. The first was when I was 17 at my work (I work in a store). We knew each others name, said hi sometimes and talked very often. But this boy was just teasing/playing me, I think I don't know.
We had a break at the same time for like 20 minutes (we didn't know we would have a break at the same time). Also, there was no one else there. And I will never forget these minutes. We ate together, shared some of my food and his drinks. Till the moment he put his hands around my shoulders and said something like "this is pretty romantic, don't you think?" "the lanterns outside and the music from the radio". I said "yeah sure pretty romantic". I felt I was blushing, no one ever said something like that to me OR even put his hands around my shoulders. Sadly he had to go, because they called him. I saw him almost every week and we talked more. Sometimes we had a break together. I even helped him after I was done working, whiteout getting paid for those minutes. One time in the canteen he would lift me, so I could put the radio of (it's on the ceiling). Another time he even asked me if I was in a relationship and about my sexual orientation. If there was no time to talk we would just smile at each other.
A few months later he resigned in the summer. I saw him on a Saturday when he told me next week would be his last week. I didn't want him to leave. When I was on my way home I thought this was the last time I would see him, because next week I would have a week off. I cried while I was cycling, before I stepped in my house I dried my eyes and walked in like nothing happened so no one would ask me questions.
I saw him a few (3-4) times when he came in the store, one time he didn't look at me, one time he hugged me. And one time I asked if he wanted the receipt, he said no. But I responded with my name is on it. He responded with 'not your phone number?'
To which I said "No but I have a pen to write it on". I can't exactly remember, but he didn't want it.
I sometimes thought if he really was interested, he would have asked my number or some social media. I even followed him on Instagram, but he didn't follow me back, so I was done. Some time later I heard he was on a date with another girl from my work, but that never worked out I think.
The last time I saw him was in the mall. I saw him but walked past him, because he talked with someone. A few minutes later I saw him again. He said "'my name'? Right". Well what happened then is that we walked and talked for like 2 hours. He got some food (I didn't want any). He played a little with me (he poked me a few times). We even sat on a bench and talked, there was almost no space, so we sat really close. But later on he talked about a girls' ass he saw. I didn't care much.
I'm not the most pretty girl, but I like how I look most of the time, I'm happy with myself. One time boys whistle to me. Another boy at work asked if I was in a relationship, we talked a little at work but that was about it. One time a boy looked at my breasts. So I know boys sometimes boys look at me, not that I always like it. And the last year none of that happened, so yeah..
When I see cute boys, I often think "you are cute", "does he have a girlfriend?", "should I smile at him". Or I don't know, I just look at boys.
I don't want to be alone forever, I don't want to get my heart broken, but I want experience, hugs, kisses, love and all that.
Kisses - Me
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I feel you hon. You sound like the girl any guy would love to go out with. Give it time focus on your studies first. In between you may find someone. Just be yourself.
ReplyLook at my life - am also 19, about to get into a college never had a girlfriend or anything even i dont have real friends just a lonely person who cares about everyone but nobody cares about me. I was once attracted to one girl in my school but she was out of reach from me. I always wanted a person with whom i could share all my experiences,happenings everything but i never had one . I had some friends with whom i wanted to be friends forever but they just lost all the interest after some time and found some other friends ☹️
ReplyHaloo friend...you know what, Im also 19. Never had a boyfriend. Three boys told me that they love me, but that was when we were 13 or 14. At that time i wasn't even thinking about love. But now when i really want someone, i don't have anyone. But i do have a lot of guy friends , my bestfriend is also a guy. Most of them consider me as a sister, yeah, i must admit, Im a sister-type or goodfriend- type girl. But i love being so and Im happy. And i believe that i will meet my Mr.right soon.
I have three girl besties, all the three of them are in relationship. When people ask me why am i single i justl tell them that "God is busy writing the best love story for me. So im just giving him a little more time to plan it well". Infact i really trust him, im sure he will have something special for me.
Hey, we are just 19, there is a lot waiting for us. So lets be patient. I believe that "he" is worth waiting for. I think you should also give god a little more time.
Stay happy dear<3
ReplyWow that's really nice of you! I think you're right and I really needed your message. God is writing a good love story for us, and if we are patient enough and love ourselves we'll know "he" is worth it. Thank you dear
ReplyAww.. i think you are really sweet😍. "He" is lucky...😉 Do text me when you find "him".😁 Till then, just be happy.... and all the best.
luv u...❤
ReplyHey, you'll find someone worthy of you. Be patient, it doesn't matter if you find love at 14 , 24 or 34 , all it matters is that you are happy with yourselves and with them. Good things take time, you will get to live all those experiences, Stay strong, have little faith.
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