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What makes a man, a man?
The thoughts? The actions? The dreams/hopes? The role models he has? The morals? The past he has done? The present he is doing or the future he will do?
Everything is fine for me as long as it's not his thoughts because really that cross my mind disgust me..scare me.
The more I try to stop them, the more prominent they grow so I have learnt (from past experiences) to let them flow..let them come and go.
But I think they keep becoming disturbing as others may say..I am not troubled by it, I think..
I really love my mother.. I'll die without her.. I need her.. I'll commit suicide if anything happens to her
This very love scares me. There is this constant fear hanging over my head what if anything happens to her? I am so scared that a thought crossed my mind..
"To kill her to get over the fear of uncertainty"
Her end means mine too..
Am I becoming insane? Is this the thinking of a mad killer? Am I going crazy? Do insane people know that they are becoming insane? Help me.
.
.
Before you call me childish, I'm 18... this isn't a young kids fear of losing momma...it wasn't always like this...I have always loved her but in the last 5 years, things have happened and we bonded closer than ever..
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OP here:
I would never hurt a hair on her head..I'm just scared of the thoughts I'm having..
ReplyThe thoughts dont belong to you. Since you would never hurt your mother. Banish them whenever they come.
ReplyMorals actions the way you treat others. Basically what's in the heart defines the measure of a man or woman etc.
Replyyeap, you need professional help to have a guidance. I would recommend you to ask for a man psychologist and psychiatrist if it's needed.
you need to share all this with someone who can be open and professional.
At least you came here to write.
Good luck!!
ReplyA man is defined by his nobility, most of all. To have the power to think and not act. To see his inner darkness and accept it, as it is him. So to, is the light.
You face uncertainty and that is part of the human experience. Uncertainty can only be faced in one direction. By doing the right thing.
The right thing is not to destroy what you fear losing, but to accept that, in time, it will be lost. That doesn't stop you from building something meaningful in the process. That is the beauty of life.
Sooner or later, you are going to die too. You wouldn't kill yourself because of that fact, would you?
What you think is nothing more than thoughts and they don't have to mean anything. Same thing goes with your emotions of being afraid.
Accept your fears, make the best of it as you can and by doing so, you become noble. That is how a man goes about it.
He understands that things go wrong, that there is no way to explain it nor predict it. Bad things happen. That doesn't mean that you have to be a bad person by taking the life of someone else.
That life is not yours to take. But it is yours to enjoy, if you so choose. She is your mother. She will always love you and from the sounds of it, you love her just as well. Even if your thoughts have become slightly twisted on the matter.
You can choose to do good by her. To make her proud of the man that you will become. All by being noble and putting your own selfishness aside and understanding that life happens.
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