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I have decided to write about the phases of my healing every day. I will try my best to be regular. I know I should do it. Because this is the only place where I can say my mind without being criticised by him.
So.. Day 1 of ending a abusive relationship with a narcissistic person.
My experience: can't breathe, can't think, can't function, hands trembling, checking up what's app just to see if I got any msg from him even when I know it's best for me to not recieve any msg. Trying best to survive, reading online to analyse what's happening to me, why I am suffering this pain, unbearable. Heaviness in my heart, stomach upset, head bursting with pain... But constantly reminding myself not to go back not to hope for love from him, he was abusing me, he gaslighted me, I have read about people they say it is like drug addiction, when you deny yourself the drug your body and mind reacts in the form of withdrawal symptoms. Maybe it's all just that. I am trying to observe it. I am trying to dissosiate myself from everything what's happening. I am the patient and I am the healer.. I have to do this surgery.. I have to get the tumour of his relationship, abuse out of my system.. only difference is I have to do this surgery without anaesthesia. It would be painful for sometime.. but I would be healthy in the long run. Still hoping for God's strength.
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I’m kind of scared for you. Don’t be afraid to get a restraining order and take precautions.
ReplyI will survive this.. I will fight this. Don't worry this will pass ... I hv hope
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