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As a kid Ive always dreamed of having someone who truly loves me but sadly i was never anyones type i was ethier to ugly , to skinny , ect . I grew up not loving my self having my self esteam to the ground an I wished I could be like the pretty girls that carry them self so freely I wondered how they did it and how blessed they were to be one of the pretty ones. since i never got around to knowing how to love my self i wasnt expecting anyone else to love me then I met someone I fell head over heals for thia guy. My first real boyfriend the problem was i was blinded by what i thought what love was at age 12 . He was the first thal thought i was actually pretty an i was finally happy my parents are strict and have high expectations on the guys that i want to date . i grew up feeling like i lived in a prison i seen all my friends go out have sleep overs an i couldnt even go to the stop sign by my slef it has always felt like my life isnt my life like they own my life until this day nothing has changed . so you can imagine how my dating has gone like . when my dad finally met the guy i fell in love with he didnt even give him a chance he didnt like him from the start only because he dressed in baggy clothes an looked like a cholo . this guy went through alot in life so it was like i was saving him like he was saving me but as time went on my dad wanted to meet his parents an the day came when his dad met my dad and that same day my dad wanted me yo break up with him an did i no i didnt i felt like it wasnt fair i felt like he didnt even give him a chance and ever since then every thing went down hill i started to act out i ran away with my boy friend once an i was planning on never going back home and when i got home i regreted it seeing my mom crying an all the pain and fear in her eyes really changed me . I started to open my eyes to see that the guy i was with only wanted one thing an you can figure what that is . i started to see how controling this guy was he didnt even let me have friends or talk to anybody with out him knowing an guy friends were stricly out of limits . i even became enemys with my cousin that
was like a brother to me all because my boyfriend didnt like him i gave up so much for him . as the years went by the more akward i became because he didnt let me talk to noone an i was scared to talk to anyone and them knowing who my boyfriend was an telling him i talked to them without his permision . it really messed with my mental state till this day it is so difficult to talk to people with out sounding or looking dumb because my anxiety gets to me my heart startes racing i start stuttering an my hands get sweaty an i feel dizzy so i just keep to my self its easier for me that
way . anyways after opeing my eyes i started to lose intrest in him an ever since i stoped talking to him my love life has been a disaster im just so tired of feeling lonley but i feel like maybe its for the best im to ugly to be in a realtionship ethier way ...
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ReplyYou shouldn't be worrying about him in life you meet many sick minded people they show their true colors one day all you have to do is not to think with your heart think with your mind your parents wanted best for you your idea of running away from home was worst how can you do something like that with your parents- who always wanted your happiness your good ,
Maybe your parents are just overprotective don't be rude to them or feel anything bad they love you they have only you in their lives to live for you should be grateful to them don't get involved in love or anything until you get a good future, an independent person. You can have a boyfriend but think about your furture also as your first priority
You will meet many good and genuine people if you get a good future.
Just think about your family , parents,and yourself before thinking about anyone else
Ig- johnny._.singh
ReplySee I was so young that I did a lot of messed up things and I didn't realize it at the time but after the whole experience I did come to realize that yeah my parents didn't want the best for me and how I said in the paragraph I was blinded by what I thought was love but trust me I don't disrespect my parents no more i'll make sure they know I love them and then I'm forever grateful for everything that they have done for me and I guess as I was growing up I was also maturing and thinking different to how are used to think and if I could go back in time and not run away I would fisher not run away and I wish I could just fix everything I've done in the past but he thinks I'm ungrateful because he built me to the person that I am today and for love I'm not interested no more i've honestly lost hope and I'm just gonna be worried about me and my family but that whole experience is really messed me up until this day I'm still messed up because there's way more to the story than what I just wrote yesterday was just a little bit a little bit off my chest and I just pray and hope that he gets better from now but thanks for sharing your advice and thoughts on what I wrote yesterday I really appreciate it
ReplyForget about the past think of today and the future you cannot do anything for the mistakes you have done in past forget them and move on
You will find the right person one day he will love you unconditionally just keep going
May god give you all the happiness 😊😊
Replysorry i ment to put the my parents did want the best for me 🤦🏻
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