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The COVID19 lockdown has been quite a revealer for me.
I went through almost 120 days of being alone during the Covid 19 lockdown and when I had finally had some company, I realized that I was lonely more than alone.
Everyone was making a big deal about the lockdown 30 days into as the novelty faded. I on the other hand felt its a luxury, having a place to live, content to watch, music to listen to, books to read, exercises and keeping one's self fit. My family, friends and parents worried about me, but I never saw the big deal. By the day 75 I was immersed in myself, had developed a routine and had it all sorted out. All was good with me or at least I thought...Until I got a chance to make a trip with some friends out of the town.
The trip was an eventful one, whilst we rescued a beautiful Doberman from near death, I heard my friends talk almost non stop on how they would not have been able to manage to stay alone for so many days. Words of shock, praise, adoration and inspiration poured out as we went from sober to drunken state. I slept well that night, the first in many during the he lockdown. Woke up refreshed, energised, upbeat and ready to do loads. Again a first since am a night owl. Am unsure if it was the E pill hangover or simply the company of good friends.
I was back to being on my own soon, and carried on trying to pick up my routine. Found it very tough, so cut myself a few cheat days. But the rhythm was missing.
What was wrong? Circumstances were the same, restrictions were still as strict, People still didn't mingle, I was still getting myself through all the chores. So why the rhythm went missing? What was it that could not sit back into the puzzle to complete the picture?
Was it the constant banter that my friends could not have done this alone, was it the sudden infuse of company or simply was my mind playing tricks on me?
Why did I finally feel lone rather alone?
Never ever have I given those words as much thought now, am sure neither have many of you either. But there is a big difference.
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Covid - 19 has managed this to many.
ReplyThis was because after all of that alone time that you had got used to you were with people and had a good time. Now you are missing their company.
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