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Dear brother,
You’ve tormented and abused me mentally for the last three years now. And today I finally stood up. No high road, no being the bigger person, no nothing.
You were so great and I put you on this enormous pedestal- making you out to be some hero. I looked up to you and tried my hardest to impress you and make you proud. Well, I won’t make that mistake again.
Over the past three years, you’ve diminishes my accomplishments, from making state and national team's to having colleges and universities scouting me both athletically and academically- but of course, my achievements weren’t earned in your eyes and everything was simply handed to me. You diminished my achievements and you diminished me.
Over the past three years, you called me names- nerd, try-hard, sook, dickhead, bitch, ass, cunt. You made me believe that because I was emotional that I was a sook. You made me believe that because I was passionate that I was a try-hard, a nerd. You made me believe that because you were angry with me and thought for some reason I was at fault that I was a dick head, a bitch and an ass. You made me believe that I was a horrible person.
When you were angry, hungry or sad the entire house had to stay away from you because we knew what would happen. You would yell. You would taunt. You would make me feel that the reason for everything wrong in the world for you was me.
You confided to me that you taunt our family members on purpose to get a rise- because you take the joy out of it. You confided that you get a funny sensation when you aggravate us. You think this makes you a fun/funny person to be around, but in reality, it genuinely just makes you a horrible human being.
You’re hypocritical and artificial- you say that just because something horrible happens to me doesn't mean it's the end of the world and yet soon as something happens to you you play it out to be some tremendous successions of Apocalypse’s has been cast down upon you. I wouldn't be surprised if that meant you had to take the rest of us down with you.
So when today, you called me a sook and played my injury out to be nothing, I let it slide- boys will be boys. I couldn’t walk. I couldn't show any sign of weakness. I couldn't be myself. But then it's the end of the day. I'm having a great time with mum and my little sister- we’re having girl chat and I'm standing up for you the entire time. I carry myself to my room with crutches in either hand and all of a sudden I smell this grotesque stench- you farted, hardy-har. I comment ’can I shut your door please, it smells and I don't want it coming into my room like every other night.’
’you just shut your door’ you said.
You see, I have a small room and I do in fact get claustrophobic so met nights it takes me forever to get to sleep, opening my door is the only solace I have that I'm not trapped.
So we continued to argue, the conversation escalating quickly.
’Why Can’t you just close your door’ you snapped.
’Why should I always have to accommodate everything for you! ’ I cried.
We shouted at each other through walls and then you said come say that to my face and you called me a name.
I saw red and white and the next thing I know I was sprinting out my door and into yours. My ankle cried and caved but all I knew was I couldn't take it anymore.
I screamed you were a dickhead that I shouldn't have to put up with you and you smiled and taunted me again.
I will never regret what I did next.
I went to punch you in the shoulder and hurt you like you had hurt me all of these years. You grabbed me by the arms and shoved me on to your bed one hand around my neck. You shouted in my face while you continued to tighten your grip and you shouted how I've been so delightful this entire weekend. I pushed harder and harder to get you off and I screamed, tears strolling down my face, ’get off me’.
Mum came down to where we were fighting yelling at you to get off me, you didn't listen. So she pushed you off.
She grabbed me by the arm and threw me in my room and yelled at you and then she came into mine and yelled at me.
She told only me that I needed to apologise because I threw the first punch. I said no. And I promise I will not apologise.
You abused me mentally for years and when I finally had enough you cried to mum saying how I threw the first punch.
You're twenty-fucking-two and still live at home, in sixteen and I've already accomplished more in my life than you ever will.
It's my fault for allowing you to treat me like this all these years but damn it, I will never regret this. I will not apologise now, tomorrow, next week or next year.
Older brothers are supposed to protect their younger sisters- so why am I the exception!
I hope you know that I will never forgive all that you’ve done.
You crushed me and I only hope karma isn't too rough on you.
From your biological sister but really, I’m just some person you’ll be bragging about in the future.
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ReplyI just wanted to thank you. My mum is always saying she doesn’t condone physical violence and I normally respect that. But there's only so many times I can nod my head to her saying ’ he’s only doing it to get a rise out of you so Don’t react’. Thank you for your support❤️
ReplyIt makes me really happy that I could be of atleast some help. And I wish u all the happiness and luck... And strength ❤
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